Wednesday, September 4, 2013

After birth

Moises is living his first full day and I have finally calmed down!  I have had a chance to reflect on many aspects of the experience.  

It cost $1,800 for Carmen to have an ultrasound and cesarean delivery.  In the US it would cost around $10,000.  While this seems like a bargain it is out of reach for most Hondurans.  While we were waiting for Carmen's ultrasound results, David explained that the public health system is another form of violence on the poor.  Resources are diverted from public hospitals to private clinics (money, equipment, medication, talent) for personal gain.  Most of the time, the poor must do without much needed care.  I shudder think what would have happened to little Moises if Dulce, and at times Carmen, didn't work for us.  I can only imagine how many babies and young mothers are lost unnecessarily.  I still can't understand one hospital that can't handle complicated births and another that lets a distressed fetus wait all day to be seen.  

On the way to the hospital and right up to the moment Moises cried for the first time, I was praying for "just enough."  Carmen was 16 days late, she and Dulce had been waiting for 7 hours at the hospital, the baby didn't have enough oxygen, my car had very little gas, my cell phone battery not fully charged... I was praying for just enough time, just enough oxygen, just enough gas, just enough battery to get Carmen to the private hospital, the baby born, and me home safely while driving at night.   All my prayers were answered.  One hour after we got to San Jorge, Moises was born!  With a little supplemental oxygen, he was pink and fiesty! That hour included checking in, getting an ultrasound, prepping her for surgery and, of course, the surgery itself.  I got home at about 8 with gas and 10% phone battery left!  Thanks be to God.  We can pray for big things (Moises' life) and we can pray for little things (cell battery.)  Nothing is outside of God's desire to provide for us.

In the middle of the night I woke up with one of the pictures burned in my brain.  It was the moment they pulled Moises out of the womb.  It struck me that Jesus looked exactly like that, moments old, taking his first breath, born to a poor young mother.  My heart stopped as I waited to hear Moises breath.   I imagine Mary and Joseph's did too.  That first breath, so long ago, changed humanity forever, just as Moises' first breath has changed his family's lives forever.   It is beyond comprehension that the creator of the universe chose to be incarnate in that way.  So tiny and helpless with a family who could offer love and faith instead of material wealth.    In this picture, take away the medical equipment and the gloved hands and focus on the baby reaching his hands to the world, just like the infant Jesus.  "Aqui estoy!"  "Here I am!"  
...here..I AM...

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