Authenticity

Hands

2012-02-21T11:05:00.000-06:00

Christhas no body on earth but yours, no feet but yours, no hands but yours.

For 635 people in Colonia Emanuel, a Medical Brigade was Christ this past weekend. I will never get used to the poverty that exists in Honduras and the world. The smallest things make such a huge difference to the people in Colonia Emanuel. Of course the doctors examine the patients and prescribe medications to sick people which is so important. But, what really strikes me are the things we take for granted...a doctor listening to a worried mother, a tube of hemorrhoid cream for a taxi driver who has no money to buy such a luxury for himself. A pair of sunglasses for a laborer. A pair of reading glasses so an elderly man can read the Bible again. A stuffed monkey in a child's bag - the softest toy he has ever had. Ibuprofen all around - another luxury for people who suffer constantly from stress, muscle aches, headaches, and other things. Finally getting that rotten tooth out... What an enormous blessing. 19 people - doctors, a nurse, a dentist, women welcoming the patients into the clinic while taking their vitals signs and symptoms, the young people (high school and college,) a coach, and a soccer referee working in the pharmacy and dental clinic, playing with the children, holding a baby, encouraging a parent, loving them all...

The body of Christ...in scrubs.

Yours are the eyes through whichthe compassion of Christ is to look out on a hurting world.

Maribel reappeared with Fernando this morning. Amandita was at her "brother's" house. I told her I was very hurt that she just disappeared and couldn't understand why she didn't say goodbye. She apologized and said she realized she loves her children and can't live without them. She is going to work, selling clothes, and take care of her children. She looked rested and they both were clean. She told us she is not going to Mexico because she realizes her mother isn't interested in her. It was at that moment I saw the hurting child Christ sees. Yes, she is unbalanced and irresponsible. Her children suffer in her care more than they don't. But she is a child in pain so deep and long lived that I can't begin to comprehend it. I hugged her and told her I love her always. So, for today at least, Maribel is giving it another shot. Maribel said, "Maybe God has a miracle for me." Lord, help us to see her through your eyes.

Yours are the feet with which he isto go about doing good.

Don Wilbur, a member of the medical brigade, spent two days playing soccer with the Alonzo Movement kids and the children at San Buenaventura. For the Alonzo kids, life doesn't have much to offer. Don, age 70, offers them a few hours of joy. He brings soccer balls, uniforms, expertise and deep love for each and all. He spent all day Friday refereeing soccer games on the dusty, rocky field in Flor blowing his whistle, flashing the yellow and red cards when he saw a violation. One of the greatest gifts he gives them is respect. He takes them seriously and holds them to the highest standards. Someone asked me if it was safe for him to be on the soccer field in Flor. "Safe? Are you kidding? With 130 kids there protecting me? Yeah, I'm safe!" he exclaimed! Yes, Flor's treasure is safe!

Yours are the hands with which heis to bless all now.

Wheeler remains in hospice, seemingly stronger than when he entered. He is at peace, ready to meet his beloved Savior but now wondering if he jumped the gun in choosing hospice care. He has been blessed by countless visitors, phone calls from Honduras, family members by his bedside and even a concert by St. David's FolkMASSters group. Everywhere I go here in Honduras I am reminded of how God has used Wheeler's hands, mind, body and will to bless so many of us.

One thing I have learned from Wheeler is that we are all in God's hands. The people in Col. Emanuel, the Alonzo kids in Flor, our precious lambs at the Children's Home, Maribel, Fernando, and Amandita, Wheeler, you and me.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—

where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore. Amen.

Psalm 121

Desaparecido

2012-02-16T21:34:00.000-06:00

Any language other than your native language has words that are strange, beautiful, surprising, or confusing. The Spanish word "desaparecido" is one of those words to me. It means disappeared but when I see it written or hear it spoken, the first English word that comes to mind is desperate. I suppose in many cases, to mothers or fathers of lost children there is little difference between desperate and disappeared. How can you separate them?

I was looking for a reference I had written in an earlier blog and came upon one I wrote last March entitled Loving arms, away from home. The one picture I included was of Maribel snuggling Fernando. She is wearing a cross I had given her at her baptism just a little while before that picture was taken. It seems so long ago. I must write about the latest in the story about Maribel, Fernando and Amandita.

My last blog concluded with, "What happens next? Not sure. I pray that Maribel will place her fingerprint on the paper giving us custody of the children." The day after writing the blog, Maribel gave me Amandita's birth certificate and vaccination records and she and Fernando took of for Olancho, a department in HN, for 10 days to visit family. She told us she would be back next Wednesday to sign the papers and then head off to Mexico.

Amandita has attachment issues and last night I had finally gotten her calm and snuggled asleep on my shoulder. Valjean and I had just returned from picking up Pizza Hut personal pizzas (Valjean's craving, not mine!) when the bell rang. To my shock, there were Maribel and Fernando. Both filthy and reeking. I invited them in and gave them my pizza. Maribel was charged with excitement. "My mother sent money for me to get to Mexico!!! I am going tomorrow!!!" (Maribel was sold by her mother as an infant and has been haunted by this all her life.) She then gave me Fernando's papers. I contacted Suzy right away and she got our lawyer, Dony, working on the papers from home. "Tomorrow!, I thought, Tomorrow the children will be under our care at last!"

She had bathed Fernando but she was still a mess so she asked if she could take a shower. Of course! I gave her a towel and asked Fernando if he wanted to watch TV. He nodded solemnly so I went upstairs to set up a DVD. When I came back down, just minutes later, the three of them were gone. Desaparecido. She had taken just the children as they were - no shoes on Fernando, Amandita in a little onesie (it still gets chilly at night), no bottles or diapers, or anything. The three of them gone. I ran through the house desperately searching for them. No money, no food, no clothes - desperate conditions. Disappeared.

What happens next? Not sure. I desperately pray she will bring them back to us. Until then, instead of loving abuelas caring for a precious baby, we have an empty crib.

Dear Lord, bring these children back to us. Heal your child, Maribel. Please, Lord.

Suffer the little children

2012-02-12T19:06:00.001-06:00

Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Mark 10:14

Today started out like a normal Sunday and then proceeded to turn into a fun, productive day...until...

Valjean and I slept in (YAY) and went to church at Cristo Redentor. As always it is such a beautiful experience to worship with our Honduran brothers and sisters in Christ. They always remember me and give me such a warm welcome. After church, Valjean, Judith and I went to lunch, then shopping for lamps. After a long afternoon, Valjean and I were happy to get home, kick off our shoes and relax. We were racing to see who could get in our PJs first! But then... brrrriiiinng goes my cell phone. It is Suzy. Maribel called her in hysterics asking her to meet her in town at a police station and take the children.

(Back story: Maribel is Lucy's birth mother. Maribel is a young woman, very troubled from a horrific life to date. Just about everything you can think of has happened to Maribel, including being sold twice as a very young child. After Lucy, she had Fernando (3) and Amanda Susana (8 mos.) Maribel accepted Jesus one evening last year at Casa LAMB. She is very quixotic. I love her deeply, worry about her constantly, and pray for her always.)

So, Suzy picked me up and off we went to find Maribel and the children, not sure what was happeing with Maribel, if we would be able to take the children, or what would happen next. Maribel met us on the corner outside the police station. We pulled up behind a police car and I jumped out. Maribel fell into my arms sobbing. I held her as I would a small child repeating over and over that I love her. Suzy joined us and Maribel handed me a screaming Amandita. Fernando clung to his mother, obviously confused and frightened. Both children were absolutely filthy. Amandita didn't have a diaper on, Fernando had no underwear or socks and clothes that were too big. Suzy spoke with Maribel as they both told me to get Fernando in the car. He started screaming and fighting at that point. We both gave Maribel some money (thanks be to God I had just gone to the ATM) and jumped in the car and took off with the screaming children.

When we got to Casa LAMB, we wrestled the children in the house and Suzy went back to find Maribel and buy some supplies. Fernando stood sentry by the front door, sobbing, watching for Suzy to return. Little Amandita squirmed and sobbed. She looks like she is about 5 months, no teeth yet but strong as can be. We wiped them off with washcloths and replaced their filthy clothes with a couple of my tee shirts.

Then the electricity went off.

Finally, Suzy returned to Fernando's great relief. Amandita was unmoved and continued to climb all over Valjean with her piercing cries (Amandita's, not Valjean's!) We struggled a diaper and a new sleeper on Amandita, handed her a bottle, and put her down in a portacrib we keep for just this kind of day. She fell asleep almost immediately. Fernando is at Suzy's eating quietly.

We learned that Maribel was at the police to "denounce" the man she had been staying with (brother in law?) because he beats them. He has threatened to kill her.

What happens next? Not sure. I pray that Maribel will place her fingerprint on the paper giving us custody of the children. She deeply loves them and knows she can't care for them but giving them to us is an excruciating decision. Until then, Fernando will be loved at Suzy's and Amandita has two abuelas (grandmothers) already deeply in love with her at Casa LAMB.

And the lights are back on.

And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them. Mark 10:16

Coming and going

2012-02-12T00:06:00.000-06:00

My son, Hunter, was a freshman at Va. Tech when the massacre occurred. It was snowing sideways that day. Late that night, he and his friends collected all their cash, bought coffee, and took it to the police guarding the campus. He was so moved by their courage and dedication. "Mom, when everyone was running away from the building, they were running in." Why? That's what they do. They protect the innocent. I was reminded of this when I heard the Peace Corps was pulling out of Central America. Isn't it interesting that the secular group leaves as the Christians continue to come...

The situation here is nothing like the Va Tech campus that day. Sure, there are pockets of extreme danger and far too many people are victims of violence, mostly drug and gang related. But not here. Everyday, I and the current mission team go about our business of serving God's lambs. Why? Because that's what we do — we follow the Lamb wherever He goes.

We have devotionals in the spacious, lovely and safe Casa LAMB.

Honduran and US leadership teams singing praise songs together

We drive through the beautiful, mountainous countryside to the Children's Home.

We meet new friends and reconnect with old friends.

Karen and her new friend Marvin


Catching up with Jocelyn after 3 years

We work, sometimes with help.

Harold, Harry, Angus wire the boys' dorm

Steve and Elias Hernandez

Kent building shelves in the school bodega

We love one another.

Boys become men...

...and little girls bloom...

That's what we do here.

Tattoo

2012-01-28T21:08:00.000-06:00

This may be the greatest picture I have ever seen. Josh Drake, a photographer who came down here to dig a trench!, took this last week. I have never wanted a tattoo but I just might tattoo this on my arm so I have it with me always.

Why would I want such a tattoo? Well, clearly it is a good picture of two kids having a blast. But it is so much more that than. I think this picture captures just what redemption looks like. Yolani, blind from birth, was dumped by her mother who called her a dog. Dunia had a horrible life before coming to us. Living on the streets with her little sister, Yessenia and brother, Fernando, begging for food, going door to door to find a place to sleep, spending several months in the INHFA (social service) home which is hell on earth -- really. I remember when Dunia first came to our Children's Home. She was alienated, detached, depressed. You couldn't get her to make eye contact, never mind a hint of a smile. Now, just look at them. Look at what the power of Christ's love can do, working through ordinary people who answer God's call to help.

Redemption has many faces and many scenes. Look at this picture below. Would you guess that these children had been abandoned, abused, and neglected or would you say this is a Sunday School class putting on their program during a church service? Redemption.

This past week a medical brigade has been in town. Dr. Ken and Pat Holden have been bringing brigades here for 22 years! My favorite part of their brigade is the collaboration with Honduran doctors and med students. Dr. Ken has many patients here whom he has followed for years. They flock to him every year. My job was to make Salvation Pins for the waiting patients. I would explain (in Spanish!) the signficance of each bead - black is our sin, red is the blood of Christ, white is purification, green is hope, and yellow... Up to this point many of the recipients would be smiling politely, nodding their heads. When I got to yellow - symbolizing the streets of gold in heaven - I would say, "One day, we will walk with Christ on the streets of gold... FOREVER." Suddenly they would break out in a huge grin and say "Amen!" Redeeming hope.

Dr. Reyna Duron leads the US and HN team in prayer before the day starts

Devoted father brings his son to see Dr. Ken

Broche de Salvacion!

And then there are the Buckners, a middle-aged, childless couple who came last year and fell in love with one of the girls at SBV. They came back this year for two weeks, staying the first week out at the Children's Home. They came to spend time with one child. They returned home to PA resolved to move back and live with their 64 beloved children!

and, Ned, recently married, whose heart is now owned by Aaron Joshue.

And the Edwards family - Wendy's new madrinas. Wendy had prayed and prayed for one madrina. Now she has 3!

And Debbie Buckner, finally a mother, saying goodbye to sweet Christopher...till next time.

Redeeming love.

And so it begins

2012-01-15T22:45:00.000-06:00

Another year, a new season begins.

Today was the first full day of the first team in 2012. This team is made up of both returning LAMB family members and, my favorite, first-timers. I love seeing life here through their eyes -- the heartbreak of the extreme poverty, the horrified faces when they hear the children's stories, the thrill of seeing the Children's Home and the beauty of the surrounding mountains, the joy of loving the children, the tears as they recount their experiences of the day. We did the normal Sunday routine -- pancakes for breakfast, church, lunch on the chapel portico, soccer and playtime and hug time with the kids, back to Casa LAMB for showers, dinner, devotional, bed. Same ol' thing, right?

Not so fast... Yes, in some ways it was a typical Sunday but it was also a very special day we were all blessed to witness. Today was Deacon Suzy's first service, her first time to celebrate! Rather than ramble on about it in writing, I will share it with you in pictures except to say that when I received communion I burst into tears...of joy.

Ready for worship

Suzy prepares for the service

The service begins

Singing God's praises

Each Sunday School class participated

Jocelyn, and others, told how they had felt God's presence recently

Two of the newest members of the LAMB family - Carolyn, a first timer, and Marjeli

The homily - we are the church

Celebrate!

Deacon Suzy's first congregation!

The team prayed for Suzy's ministry

One final note...one thing always is the same...teams have fun!

What's new at SBV

2012-01-11T20:20:00.001-06:00

Hola! I spent the afternoon at the Children's Home in San Buenaventura today! Here is a snapshot of what's new!

The windmills that were going up along the way to SBV are more plentiful and operational. There are several groups of windmills, even more than when I left. (What do you call a group of windmills? A gust of windmills? An erg of windmills?) For those who expressed concern that they would be noisy and cause vibrations, they do neither! This "erg" of windmills is viewed from the portico side of the chapel. The construction has ended and they even repaired the perpetual twin set of potholes!

The stained glass windows are in, surrounding the door to the chapel. They are breathtaking.

There is a computer lab at the SBV School! These computers are borrowed from the school in Flor but in February, they will have their own lab! The kids were hard at work using MS Word and other programs. What a great sight that was. I really hope we can get some robust software for the kids to hone their skills. Imagine what this could mean for their future employability. Arely also hopes to get pre-school programs for the non-readers.

A team from St. Andrews, Charleston was here right after Christmas. They hired a backhoe and cleared and leveled the area where the kids play soccer! A forthcoming project is to build a wall around the field to keep the ball in play! They also painted Sala Cuna. The children are so proud of their newly painted home. Abram took me through the whole cottage showing me the beautiful walls!

Toyita was working with the little girls on needlework. It was so cute to see them working hard on learning several different stitches. They really seemed to enjoy it...well, most of them. Wendy was in tears struggling with hers. I am not sure she has the patience needed for it! Speaking of patience, Toyita is the soul of patience. What a blessing she is and has been to the children (and the rest of us!) at the Children's Home.

I had a chance to see Marvin and Marjeli. They both look great. Marvin seemed quiet and when I saw him, he was alone. I will be watching to see how he has integrated with the other kids. Marjeli, on the other hand, has made herself right at home in Sala Cuna. She gets cuter by the minute and barely stops long enough to have a picture taken! This was the best I could do today.

My first team of the year arrives on Saturday. I can't wait to get the year kicked off again!

Stay tuned for more news around the ministries!

Two things

2012-01-09T17:00:00.001-06:00

Tomorrow morning I head back to Honduras! It has been 3 months since I have been in Tegucigalpa, having spent 1 month in Copan studying Spanish, and 2 months since I have been in Honduras. I can't wait to get back to work!

Yesterday, I had the wonderful opportunity of speaking to all 3 of the services at St. David's. I had 5 minutes in each service. Those of you who know me well realize that speaking for 5 minutes is much harder for me than speaking for 30 minutes...or 3 hours! I managed to do it tho'! Here is my message to my beloved parish family:

A year ago I was newly retired from IBM and on my way to Honduras asyour missionary to the LAMB Institute. On Tuesday, I head back to begin my second year. I could give you lots of statistics about myfirst year, like I coordinated 21 groups with over 250 team members. Or that we have 66 children in the Children’sHome, over 250 in the day school and daycare, over 200 in the youth movement,and well over 100 people in the micro-finance program. But, instead, I just want to tell you twothings. It’s true and it works.

It is true that there is a livingGod who loves us, each and all. Let meexplain.

Marvin and Marjeli, ages 10 and 3,lived in a one room hut with drug addicted parents and a grandmother sick withuntreated TB. They slept on the dirtfloor because the parents sold everything for drugs. Marvin did the best he could to feed andprotect his little sister from human trafficking. One day, one of our teachers saw them beggingfor food on the street. Because shefollows the One who loves us the most, she was compelled to love thesechildren. She scooped them up andbrought them to our school in Flor del Campo. Although we couldn’t afford it, we enrolled them into our school anddaycare program to ensure that they had food, safety, love and aneducation. Furthermore, our staff setup a schedule to spend weekends with the children so they would be fed and safewhen school was out. We trusted God toprovide. He did. It wasn’t long before a couple, on theirfirst mission trip, felt called to sponsor both children.

What the Bible says about Jesus isabsolutely true and, also true is that prayer works. Marvin and Marjeli’s home environment wasgetting progressively worse. We askedtheir parents if we could move them to our Children’s Home in SanBuenaventura. The father responded bythreatening violence on the staff and school if we took their children – theironly source of income for their drug habit. You can buy a hit on someone for less than $25 so the threat wasreal. Our response? Prayer. Fervent prayer. The Lord answeredthat prayer in a most unexpected way. The Health Department arrived at the family’s house to test them all forTB. Both Marvin and Marjeli testedpositive. They were taken by the authoritiesto the hospital for treatment. Whilethere, Social Services awarded uscustody of the children. Meanwhile, theparents have disappeared. Marvin andMarjeli are safe in our Children’s Homeand there is no longer a threat to the staff or school in Flor. However, Marvin, in particular, needs yourcontinuing prayers as he struggles to overcome the effects of the abuse hesuffered – abuse in all forms.

This is just one story of so manyin our ministry in Honduras. We see thepower of God’s love and the answer to prayer every day in the lives of allthose God puts in our path.

So, in the words of the Psalmist:

Come, let us bow down, and bend theknee, *
and kneel before the Lord our Maker.

For he is our God,
and we are the people of his pasture and the sheep of his hand. *
Oh, that today you would hearken to his voice!

Amen.

As good as it gets

2011-12-04T15:45:00.001-06:00

South Africa

Did you ever see the Jack Nicholson movie, As Good As It Gets? He plays a man with extreme OCD. He storms into his therapist's office without an appointment. The therapist boots him out requiring him to follow the rules by scheduling time. He thunders through the waiting room filled with people, all with pleasant or neutral demeanor. He stops and shouts, "What if this is as good as it gets???" and stomps out as they all deflate at the thought. It is a funny but poignant moment in the movie. It is a great question though. I wonder if sometimes we use that question as our "back up plan" just in case... Just in case heaven and eternal life aren't actually in our future. Just in case, let's make this life as pleasant and comfortable as possible. Just in case, let's trade our [car/tv/house/wardrobe/jewelry/etc] for the newest, coolest, bigger, better version. We really can't afford to [feed the poor, tithe to our church, help an orphan, support mission work or a local organization] because, you know, what if this is as good as it gets?

I am in Palmer Lake, Colorado attending a 3 week missionary training course. When I arrived I met my classmates - 38 adults and 26 children! The adults range in age from 22 to well, older than I. The children range in age from 8 months to 14 years old. Some families have 5 and 6 children. I was stunned speechless. Everyone here has answered the question this way, "No, this is not as good as it gets. It gets much better when I get to Haiti, Ghana, Albania, Burundi, South Africa, Bosnia, Taiwan, Turkey, China... to serve God and His children. It will be so much better when I finally go home to be with God in heaven." It is very humbling to be with them all and I am SO thankful God didn't call me to be a missionary when my children were little! When I was 20 something, I am certain I wouldn't have recognized a call much less been able to head off alone to Albania or Dominican Republic or South Africa.

A constant source of joy for me is attending Episcopal churches all over the world. Today I attended a sweet parish, St. Matthias, in Monument, Colorado. Like our chapel at San Buenaventura, they don't have stained glass windows behind the chapel because God's creation is so magnificent. St. Matthias looks out over Pike's Peak and the Rockies! Breathtaking. The rector, Fr. Scott Campbell, preached a sermon that really resonated with me. He said that in our society we live in the now. We base our happiness on the past and borrow from the future to live today. How true that is. We are happy or miserable because of what happened yesterday, last year or as we were growing up. We go into huge debt so we can have (see list above) right now. How short sighted we can be. All of that is so fleeting. Steve Jobs couldn't buy a cure or more time despite all his resources. Was his life on earth as good as it gets? I pray he knows now that it wasn't.

One reason I love being in Honduras is that the Hondurans, young and old, living (materially) impoverished lives, many from the most horrific backgrounds teach me every day that the eternal future holds so much more promise and joy. That God's kingdom can be found on earth now and life is worth the sacrifice and wait for the Risen Lord's promise.

I am collecting pictures from my classmates of their brothers and sister in Christ throughout the world. Join me in thanking God for them and realizing that this life on earth will never be as good as it gets. AMEN.

A Muslim country

Ghana

Honduras - our own Gabriel prays

Kenya


Ghana

Kenya

E. Europe


South Africa

Haiti


Honduras


A Muslim country


Jesus Christ in 12 languages, names of all the missionaries (young and old) with me

WWJDFTG

2011-11-21T08:47:00.001-06:00

The word for thanksgiving in Spanish is "acción de gracias" or, in a literal translation, action of thanks. Does the Spanish language know something the English language doesn't? Thanksgiving Day is translated "Día de Acción de Gracias" - an entire DAY for actions of thanks. Does "Día de Acción de Gracias" translate into more than a day of eating and watching football? (Plus the requisite "walk after dinner to make room for desert") Are we missing something? Thanksgiving isn't a Christian holiday, it isn't mentioned in the New Testament but I wonder, WWJDFTG? (What would Jesus do for Thanksgiving?)

What actions of thanks will we do on Thursday? Most of us do the list of things we are thankful for. These lists generally and sincerely start with our families and go on from there. Here is my list:

My magnificent children, both young men of deep faith, wonderful senses of humor, intelligence, and compassionate hearts
My 90 year old father, trapped in a wheelchair, paralyzed on his right side (it is really the wrong side. Paralysis on the left side would have been righter...) who maintains his sense of humor, keeps up with current events, continues his very generous monthly support of many wonderful organizations, and takes great care of his companion struggling with memory loss.
My brother Tom and his wife Mariella who have been there for our parents for many years, supporting them through my mother's Alzheimer's and now Daddy's stroke.
My brother Jeff and the rest of my family, each of whom is dear to me.

This past year in Honduras has given me many new items to put on my list in no particular order:

Angelo

Angelo, the reformed gang leader and murderer who is studying to be a Pastor and who spoke so eloquently to the Alonzo Movement kids. The man who lived his faith at gunpoint which let Angelo to Christ years later. (read about them here http://hondurasamanda.blogspot.com/2011/06/wait-for-it.html)


Padre Mejia welcomes Catarina to the parish family!

Padre Mejia who serves 30 tiny Episcopal churches in the mountain villages around Copan and has not received a salary for 3 months. (monthly salary would be about $300)

Singing a praise song before a staff meeting

David and Evelyn, leaders of LAMB in Honduras and the entire staff. For their unwavering faith, strength of character, and complete commitment to serving God under unimaginable circumstances.

Dunia and the other children at SBV who love Yolani, blind from birth, so deeply. Yolani began life as "a dog no one would ever want" to a beloved sister of 63 other children.

For the dental assistant in Tegucigalpa holding my terrified hand as the dentist gently repaired a broken tooth. Despite the tragedies she had already experience in her young life she explained, “When you love Jesus, you have hope.”

Suzy who is always there...for Jasmin, Maribel, her own children, Marvin, me, and all the people God puts in her path.

For the young man, Israel, who came "out of the blue" to our rescue in Marcala and helped us deliver food to two starving families.

Jeremy who asked God to break his heart about something that breaks God's heart. God answered the prayer of the 20 year old Jeremy and we now have our Safe House for sexually trafficked girls. Visit the She Dances website

For Alex who deferred his freshman semester to be with the children and all the summer interns who gave so much love to us all.

For the Honduran people with their generous spirits, faith, kindness to a bumbling missionary, and grace as they live their very difficult lives.

For all the teams who come down and do so much for so many and the LAMB donors, in particular the monthly donors who make our work possible

The faith of the children despite so many reasons not to believe

Alonzo Movement child praying

For all the people who read my blog so I never feel alone...

For The Holy Spirit's tangible presence throughout Honduras, His light always breaking through the darkness

There are too many things I am thankful for to put on a list. This is just a tiny sample of the zillions of ways the Risen Lord has blessed me and my life. I approach Día de Acción de Gracias with a heart full of wonder and joy that God has and does so much for us all. For me, it is all because of what I am most grateful for of all - Jesus. I will strive to have a Día de Acción de Gracias, and next year anAño de Acción de Gracias and for years to come a Vida de Acción de GraciasI hope you all have a wonderful day full of actions of thanks! Thanks be to God!

PS. Would you like to take an action of thanks this Thanksgiving? Turn "Black Friday" into "Blessings Friday" by giving a gift of love from the LAMB Christmas Catalog!

In China they call it food

2011-11-04T23:00:00.000-06:00

There was a Friends episode in which Chandler wryly responded to Joey's comment about going to China and eating Chinese food: "Of course there, they just call it food."

My fascination continues with the day to day lives of the rural people here in the Copan Valley. The other day, as we drove an hour up the mountain on very rough dirt roads (or mud soup roads

On her way to town

depending on the weather) we passed men, women and children of all ages walking into town for market day. If it took us an hour to drive, I can't imagine how long it takes to walk. Of course, the early morning downhill walk will be the late afternoon, after-working-all-day, up hill walk home. Some are barefooted, some have street shoes on, some flip flops. No one has hiking shoes. Some women walk, hands free, with a tub of wares balanced on their heads.

Others, after working all day in the coffee fields picking beans, walk 1.5 hours to their small plot of barely arable farmland. There they cultivate maíz and frijoles (corn and beans), defying gravity on the exceedingly steep bit of land hanging on the side of the mountain.

Many families live almost entirely off the land. I had a marvelous, impromptu Sunday lunch with a family. The menu was as follows:

Eggs gathered from their chickens (they are called "huevos de amor" or eggs of love because they result from the romantic encounter between a hen and her rooster!)
Beans grown in the back yard and cooked over the wood stove in the kitchen
Cheese and mantequilla (sort of like sour cream but soo much better) made from their own cow
Tortillas - home grown corn, roasted over wood fire, ground by hand cranked mill, dough further refined on a "piedra" (a stone slab with a stone roller), hand shaped and patted and finally cooked on the outdoor stone cooktop.
Coffee - home grown beans, dried, roasted, ground, and made by pouring boiling water through a sock like thing with the coffee in it.

Some people have a horse to ride or a burro to carry the wood gathered for their stoves. Some catch rides in the back of an SRO (standing room only - literally cheek to jowl) pick up truck. They walk
calmly through downpours, women walk along nursing their babies.

Many people live in a "cuarto" - a rented room which may or may not have a bathroom. My new friend Don Julio lives in a cuarto which is also his wood sculpture workshop.

Chorti boy selling cornhusk doll

In town, entire families crowd into a "tuk tuk" (moto taxi) for an 8 lempira (approx. 40 cents) ride across town. Chorti (indigenous group pronounced "chorTEE") children make and sell cornhusk dolls or flowers for $1 each regardless of size. (I have enough to populate an entire cornhusk city!) Vendors of any and everything walk around selling their wares (ladies lingerie, roasted nuts, tupperware, watches, etc) I bought some roasted cashews and the vendor pulled out a little scale with 2 rocks to measure 50 lempira worth.

Episcopalians go to one of the 30 churches covered by Father Mejia. (Note: on Sunday we were a bit late arriving at the church in Sesemil Dos. No worries, they started without the priest! Father Mejia calmly walked up to the altar, got himself organized, vested, and then picked right up with the congregation!) They have well trained lay leaders who lead worship services 5-6 times a week!

San Antonio, Agua Caliente

Worship with or without a priest present



Service at San Antonio

Padre Mejia celebrates at San Juan Evangelico, Sesemil Dos

Faithful parishioner at San Juan Evangelico

Wood for the stove

Everyone has a latrine. The better off families have a toilet and a door. They have a faucet with cold water. Maybe an electric shower head that instantly heats water if you have the pressure just right.

I kept finding myself trying to relate, to put myself in their shoes or lack thereof. I could imagine myself whining, felling sorry for myself, or just deciding to "bag it" when facing the long walk to and from town. I just couldn't see myself going out to forage for wood for the stove or making tortillas every single day. Finally I realized, to paraphrase Chandler, here in Copan they just call it "life." They go about their lives doing what needs to be done, most with grace, patience, and peace.

God's light shines on beautiful Copan Valley

Being here is a wonderful lesson in humility. All those things I consider bare necessities are, well, they aren't. I haven't invented the Pffft gadget yet (see prior blog entry, Inspector Gadget) so let me share some of daily lives of these beautiful people:

Plantanos (plantains) for dinner

Carrying a bag of just picked coffee beans - that bag is worth about $8

Roasting beans

Scrambling "huevos de amor"

"Piedra" to work the tortilla dough

Cooking tortillas

Unsuccessful attempt to learn how to make tortillas

Bamboo bridge across the stream

Weighing out the cashews

Don Julio - a true artist in his room/workshop

Learning to make a ceramic pot at Dona Lucas' home where she makes ceramics to sell from mud she collects from the nearby river

Babysitting little brother while the family gathers food and coffee beans.

I taught some of the San Antonio parish children the only Spanish song I know:

Inspector Gadget

2011-10-22T18:29:00.000-06:00

I have always watched the TV shows my sons watched, from Sesame Street way back when to Modern Family now. One show we enjoyed was Inspector Gadget, a cartoon about a man who is a cross between Get Smart and Mission Impossible. He could build the most amazing gadgets to foil his arch-nemesis, Dr. Claw.

There are two gadgets I would like to have. The first is a camera attached to my eyelids. There have been so many photos I have missed because I was driving, out of battery, or simply not fast enough. Some are funny, some interesting, some heartbreaking, some inspirational.

As you read this, close your eyes (!) and imagine the pictures I would have taken:

1. Young boy walking home from school in the late afternoon in his uniform with a backpack in one hand and a dead chicken in the other. Dinner?

2. My view from the driver's seat of my car, on the road from SBV. I am stopped, surrounded by a herd of cows with one adolescent cow as close as it can be to my hood, staring me down.

3. On the main highway around Tegucigalpa, two older women standing on the side of the road with huge tubs balanced on their heads (hands free!) chatting.

4. On the main highway going south going up a hill on a curve, the car passing the car passing a truck - a triple wide on a double wide highway!

5. A little girl playing on the median of an on-ramp while her father repairs the makeshift hut he built out of paper and sticks.

6. H. at the safe house spontaneously comforting J who had strep throat and was feeling awful.

7. A Police tuk-tuk in Copan with a policman driving it and a policewoman holding on for dear life in the back seat as he flew over the cobblestone street!

8. An indigenous woman cradling her baby, both looked very hungry.

Of course, there are zillions of others...

The other gadget I wish I had is an aerosol spray that I could spray all over you. You would instantly be able to feel what I feel, to share completely the experiences I have had and to know the people I have met. Right now, I am sitting in a cafe in Copan (with free wi-fi!) writing this. This is the end of my first of four weeks in Copan Ruinas (in the NW of Honduras, location of Mayan ruins) where I am studying Spanish. I am so full of joy. Copan is beautiful, the people typical of Honduras (by that I mean absolutely wonderful), and living with a Honduran family in a small cuarto (rented room) is sublime. I would so spray you with life in Copan! Pfffftttt!

Other things I would click and blink and then spray: Watching the kids at SBV go about their lives, playing, helping each other out, being naughty at times, being so sweet at others...

Spending time with the safe house girls as they play, laugh, sing, pray.

I would also pffffttt you with the times when horrific memories suddenly come upon them, unbidden. It is painful to watch them relive their lives before La Vida Nueva. Same with Sonia's sobs as she threw her arms around me, buried her head in my shoulder and weeped, "Mi mami! Mi mami!" the day after her beloved mother, Iris, died. She was in our offices in Flor asking for help to bury her mother. Heartwrenching. Those pffffttts would not be pleasant for you but they must be felt by all of us.

I think that is one of the best parts about being a missionary here -- seeing and experiencing so much all the time. I often wonder if this is what Jesus sees...His sweet children living their lives, going about their business day in and day out, sometimes suffering, sometimes being filled with great joy. Are their lives as fascinating to Him as they are to me? (He, natch, already knows them so well and I am just learning)

One thing I know for sure, He loves them each and all far more than I could ever begin to comprehend. You too!

Here are a few pictures of His children I have managed to take here in Copan:

A tiny Chorti boy selling a doll

Off to market

Sweeping the street, rain or shine

The woman in the back is bringing a chicken to sell to a restaurant!

pix

Real Life

2011-10-04T07:29:00.000-06:00

A month in the US and now 3 weeks back in Honduras, I find
myself thinking about real life. Does it ever seem like the scenes and people you see are part of a Hollywood set? "Wow! Those people, those houses are so realistic!" Then you move to the next "set" and the previous one is forgotten. So, I moved through many "sets" in the last couple of months. There was the Chicago "set", city street scenes, the river scene, the lake scene... On the Magnificent Mile set, amidst highbrow stores and sidewalks crowded with lots of extras, my boys and I were passed by a very out-of-place "extra." A frail, filthy man shuffled passed us. He made eye contact with no one and seemed to be headed purposefully somewhere, albeit very slowly. He had pieces of cardboard tied to his bare feet offering some protection from the concrete sidewalk. His toes were bleeding from who knows what. He shuffled past us before our brains had a chance to register the scene. I think deep down I was waiting for, hoping for "Cut! It's a wrap!" The man would take off his costume and join the other extras at the canteen for a snack.

The thing is...real life doesn't go away. He wasn't an extra, he is a child of God. He is still shuffling along the streets of Chicago, perhaps searching for new cardboard to replace the worn out pieces we saw. I wonder what the state of his toes are. Did they heal, are they getting worse? What will he do when Chicago's famous winter sets in? We did get a grip on the situation enough to dig in our wallets for some money. Hunter ran back down the street to thrust the bills in his hand. Later and still I am haunted by him and my inadequate response. Why didn't I stop, put our sightseeing agenda on hold, and take him into one of the stores to buy him shoes? Why didn't we find a drug store to get first aid supplies to clean and bandage his toes? I pray I will see him again when I go to Chicago again in a couple weeks to attend Hunter's graduation. This time I will be ready, if God will grant me another chance.

There is lots of real life in Honduras too. This week we have yet another sweet team. (God is so good sending team after team of very different, very wonderful, very surprising people to us.) All but one is on his very first mission trip. Again I am able to see Honduras and our ministries through fresh eyes. Again, it is easy to slip into Hollywood mode as we zoom by the "poverty sets" on the way to SBV. The "extra" who is in the dumpster holding up a discarded plastic bottle to add to her collection of trash and detritus to sell later for a few lempira (dumpster diving is how Honduras does recycling.) But, of course, there are no sets. This is how people, God's children, live every single moment of every single day. There is no respite from their hard lives. The rain pours into their homes made of scrap wood and tin. Mothers can't provide the basics for their babies. People with chronic illnesses can't control them. Every day.

A family's home

Working the dump to provide for their families

Deaf mute too poor to buy food for the 3 meals a day needed to control his raging diabetes

But there so many opportunities to participate in God's redemptive love.

So, I ask myself. Am I an extra or am living a real life? It is not as easy a question as that may seem. It takes focus and concentration every day. Seeing each person as Christ sees them and then, as Christ does, keeping them in your heart. That is being real.

"Will you seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving your neighbor as yourself?"
I will, with God’s help.

Does it really matter?

2011-09-26T09:03:00.000-06:00

Gosh, it has been a long time since I have blogged. I hope I can start up again. I have so much swirling in my head. First, an explanation of the long gap. I was in the US for almost a month - attending a class for my new missionary sending agency, SAMS; visiting my father (he's doing well!); spending Labor Day with Billy and Hunter in Chicago where H is finishing up his prosthetics program at Northwestern Medical School and, of course, visiting Wheeler, St. David's and all my friends in Roswell. I got back to HN in time to prep for a medical brigade and then join them in their work. They left yesterday and I miss them already!

Pastor Felix was the first patient of the day!


An optometrist was great to have!

The medical team was from Alabama - a great team. 2 doctors, 2 nurses, an optometrist, and 3 support team members. Alex Ferrand, an intern, joined the group too. We spent two days holding clinics at Colonia Emanuel and two days in an area called the 19th of September at Pastor Felix's church. (side note: No one seems to know why the area is called that since 9/19 is not a significant day in HN history!) I have a new word to submit to Oxford English Dictionary: exhilarausting. Exhilarausting is when you are so tired your hair hurts but your heart is about to burst from joy. This brigade was definitely exhilarausting!

"Waiting room" at Col. Emanuel

Waiting room at Pastor Felix's church

So, early on the first day at Col. Emanuel, one of the team members asked me if I thought the clinic meant as much to the people of the village as it meant to the team. That question got me thinking, "Does all this really matter?" After all, putting together any mission team takes enormous amounts of energy, time, money, and personal sacrifice. Add to that the money (approx. $6000) for the 20 trunks of medication and medical supplies and you have a significant commitment. Is it really worth it? Let's ask (by way of reflection and experience) what the Hondurans think about this.

Pastor Felix was the first patient of the day!

Keehn started their experience off at intake as he took their blood pressure and welcomed them to the clinic with a smile, a kind word, and a calm, comforting demeanor. Many of the people were frightened, unsure of what to expect, and ill. I could see the relief come over their faces as they realized they were in good hands.

There was the 13 yr. old girl in Col. Emanuel. Her mother told the nurse that the girl doesn't go to school because she is retarded.
Adelaide, the nurse, wasn't so sure about that and referred her to Jill. Jill, the optometrist, examined the girl's eyes and discovered she is almost blind from cataracts. She isn't retarded, she just can't see! The team is committed to getting her the surgery she needs to restore her eyesight - either by raising money for surgery in Honduras or by bringing her to the US for surgery.

Speaking of cataracts, Jill left 1000 lempira (~$50) to give to an elderly man so he and a companion could travel to a nearby city, Siguatepeque, to get his cataracts removed for free! He hadn't been able to because he didn't have money for transportation. Now he does.

Dr. Bill and his interpreter, Karina, comforted and prayed with a young woman after Bill dressed a gunshot wound. Just a few days before, the girl and her boyfriend had been walking down a street when a group of gang members came up to them. The boyfriend shouted at her to RUN! She did and was shot in the back of her thigh while her boyfriend was shot to death. Her attitude when she first sat down with Bill and Karina was diffident, not traumatized as you would expect. After several minutes of tender, loving medical care, Karina's compassion as she translated and asked for more information, Bill's calm and sure medical treatment, and finally the question, "Can we pray for you?" the girl broke down. Her hard shell crumbled and the frightened and heartbroken child was revealed. The wound on her leg was treated but, more importantly, so was the wound in her heart.

Glenda, a nurse and a priest, spent a very long time with a young mother and her 2 very sick babies. The 3 month old had a fever of 103.7 and the 2 yr. old a fever of 102.5. They had been sick for two weeks! The young mother was frazzled, sick herself, and at a loss. Glenda dosed both children right then and there with tylenol and antibiotics and then kept them there, gently speaking with the mother about how to care for her children, until the meds kicked in. The two babies who were so pitiful coming into the clinic had already perked up as they left and their mother had a look of hope and new found confidence on her face!

Dr. Tony, a Puerto Rican with deep experience in just about everything, saw a patient who had been in the hospital. She had a prescription for very important medication but no money. "Amanda," he called, "give her what she needs to buy the medicine" as he handed me his wallet. "Whatever she needs!" turned out to be 200 Lempira (approx. $10) -- not much for any of us, life changing for the woman. Tony also had an older man, a deaf mute, no teeth with out of control diabetes. Tony counseled the man to eat 3 balanced meals a day. The man communicated with grunts and hand signals that he had coffee and bread for breakfast, no money for lunch, and whatever he could find for dinner (a tortilla, some rice, beans...) What can be done in that situation? In addition to the 2 or 3 months supply of diabetes meds, Tony loved him. Tony prayed with him and the man left knowing that he is a valued child of God loved by his Savior and us. Lasting treatment.

Seana, Rhonda, Alex and I worked the pharmacy. When we weren't busy, we would hold crying babies, pass out stickers to the waiting patients, make balloons out of the gloves, or chat with the patients. Time after time, someone would hand us the yellow card, the patient's "chart", to get the prescribed meds. We would take the card from an exhausted, very ill, overwhelmed person. As we explained what each med was and how to use it, the patient looked at us with a glazed expression, nodding, sometimes repeating instructions until we got to the final prescription: "Y, todos los dias..." (and, every day) "bendiciones!" (blessings!) The solemn, weary face suddenly lit up, a big,often toothless smile, and we received a hearty "Amen!" and "Igual!" (you too!) in return

Rhonda and her helper

Seana and her new friend!

There was the woman in Col. Emanuel, who had just had abdominal surgery, helped up the steep hill by her friends to see the doctor - an enormous and painful effort. Or the patients who came back either later in the afternoon or the next day because the doctor or nurse wanted to follow up on a very sick patient. This was no assembly line clinic... no, it was real compassionate, medical treatment with doctors and nurses consulting on difficult cases, using ipads to look up correct dosages or unusual symptoms, crafting creative and effective treatments with the meds at hand while accommodating the realities of the patient's world. In 4 days, we saw 800 patients!

Keehn and Fredisman at intake

Adelaide and Isabella translating

It wasn't just the US team providing comfort and help. We had Honduran translators, 2 former LAMB staff members working intake with Keehn, and countless local volunteers from the village and the church. We coalesced as a team immediately despite language differences.
There was a tremendous amount of mutual respect and the bond that comes from a shared vision and, of course, love for the Risen Lord.

So, what do you think? Was it worth it? Did all the work, time, money, energy really matter? It surely did for me... As for the Hondurans? In their words, "Amen!"

Prayers at the opening of the day

Pastor Julio preaching to the waiting patients in Col. Emanuel

Prayers after treatment

Franklin, from HN, gathers intake information

Dilcia, from HN, conducts an eye test for Jill

Jorge (17) translates for Glenda

A family waits to be seen

All dressed up to see the doctor

Beautiful with her new glasses!

Main Street in Col. Emanuel

Church at Col. Emanuel

Street in Col. 19 de Septiembre

A place for everyone

2011-08-07T23:57:00.000-06:00

I had quite a day today. First I went to a Baptist Church with Suzy and the girls. Suzy's son, Noe, translated the LONG sermon (actually more like a Bible study than a sermon) and I was able to sing the hymns because they were projected on a screen. They even had communion! Of course, I did communion wrong. I did it like an Episcopalian instead of a Baptist! They passed a plate (do they call them patens?) with pieces of saltine crackers on them and trays with little bitty cups of grape juice (no church seems to use wine here in HN.) Soon as I got my bit of saltine, I ate it. Then I noticed no one else had. Oops. Suzy explained that we were supposed to consume the elements together. She handed me some crumbs from her bit (literally crumbs) but the man with the plate was walking by so I snagged another piece of cracker. When the Pastor gave the blessing we all consumed the cuerpo y sangre de Cristo. I really enjoyed the service very much and, although it was very different, appreciated the communion. That is one thing I really miss here -- the beautiful liturgy and weekly mass at St. David's. Everyone around me was very friendly and welcoming and I plan to go again in the future.

After church we went to "Abuelo's" for lunch. Abuelo means grandfather. The girls call KFC "Abuelo's" because there is a life sized Col. Sanders on a bench outside the restaurant! There was a little bit of cognitive dissonance as this Gringa Episcopalian went from a Honduran Baptist church to a KFC with the menu in English! However, a good time and ice cream were had by all.

Next stop for Suzy and me was a visit to see Jasmin. I really do love that girl. She was so happy to see us! We had dropped Suzy's girls at the movie theater to see Pitufos (Smurfs in espanol!) so we didn't have too much time. I brought Jasmin some candy and Suzy brought her cheese, apples, bread and milk. We brought plenty because Jasmin always shares whatever we bring her. One thing I love about Jasmin is that she just blurts stuff out. Last visit she told us more of her story - things Suzy hadn't even heard. This time she suddenly asked for Suzy's forgiveness for running away from her. I wish everyone would be so baldly open. Of course, Suzy had already forgiven her and said so. So, we were chatting when suddenly Suzy's eyes got real wide. The visiting room was full of people - clients like Jasmin (some in pretty rough shape) visiting family members, babies (4 babies live there with their moms) and a couple of men (family or cooks, not sure which.) One of the clients is a tall, slender young woman. Unlike the other clients, she was well-dressed, hair done, and full makeup on. She seemed very sweet and popular with the other clients. As she walked by Suzy, very gracefully I might add, Suzy heard her speaking to someone else. That is when Suzy's eyes got real wide. She leaned over to me and whispered, "She's a man!" I took a closer look and, sure enough, she's a he! We couldn't help giggling because it was such a surprise. Jasmin got such a kick out of our discovery and reaction!

Across the street from Jasmin's safe house is one for men. Suzy asked Jasmin where Edwin/Edwina was staying. Jasmin wryly answered, "Well, he can't go over there!" Honduras is a very homophobic country so Edwin would not be welcome or safe at the men's safe house. So, s/he lives in the women's safe house. How wonderful is that? The ministry leaders recognize that Edwin/a is a beloved child of God just like everyone else. Edwin/a needs ministering to and so they do. Isn't that what Christianity is supposed to be about? Loving our neighbors as ourselves, making sure there is a place for everyone in the kingdom. Amen to that.

Seeing Jasmin

2011-08-02T21:09:00.001-06:00

I never gave demons and evil spirits much thought before moving to Honduras. But here, many people believe in demons, witchcraft, and evil spirits. The topics come up in conversation regularly. I worry that demons and the devil (aka the enemy) could be used to avoid accountability (a la Flip Wilson's "The devil made me do it!") I also suspect that sometimes the demonic event or behavior is mental illness, drug induced, or just plain ol' superstition. I confess that there is a kernel of fear involved. I have always been terrified by those movies involving demons, possession, or scary supernatural things.

I am also aware that there is a flaw in my logic. I firmly believe that the Holy Spirit is real and active in our day to day lives. I believe there are angels (see Gabriel and others in the Bible) as part of the heavenly host. I regularly pray that the Lord will surround someone with His angels for peace, comfort, or protection. Jesus commanded demons to leave people during His ministry on earth and the Bible is clear that there is a Satan. Nevertheless, the whole demon thing sounds so Old Testament...

Sunday, Suzy and I went to see Jasmin at her rehab facility. It is in the worst part of Tegucigalpa.   I took nothing with me (rats, no pictures) but cleverly stuck 200 lempira in my bra just in case. (Jasmin knew immediately I had money in my bra. So much for my never-been-done-before brainstorm!) It was hard for me to imagine this was a place of healing, recuperation, and Christian encouragement. The building and the room we were in looked more like a flop house or worse. The man who runs the rehab safe house had gone out at night and brought Jasmin back. He carefully watched over her while she was suicidal. He spent her first day back praying intensely with her to calm her down, keep her safe, and relieve her of the demons (real or metaphorical) tormenting her. If you walked by him on the street in your US city, you would likely cross to the other side of the road, sure he was homeless, a drug addict or worse. As Hunter said as a little boy, "Mommy, the outside doesn't matter, it is the inside that counts."

Jasmin started telling us more of her story. Every time she talks about her life, I hear about something new...and horrifying. This time she described a time when she was outside in a park. She saw a dark shadow looming over her. She felt terror but proclaimed, "I am washed in the blood of Christ." The dark shadow left and she felt safe and a sense of God's peace replaced the fear. Was it a demon? A hallucination? Overactive imagination? I don't know. What I do know is that depending on her faith worked. No matter what the dark shadow was, her faith in Jesus saved the day.

I am learning over and over how to see Jasmin and other people. Jasmin and her rehab leader are not the scary, drug addicted, threatening people their "outside" looks like. Jasmin is a sweet, struggling beautiful child, with an innocence that belies her past.   I also learn over and over that living your faith works in your own life and the lives of others. So, I still don't know about demons.   If there are such things in our world today, I am ready. I will follow the model of Jasmin and the carjacking victim who so altered the path of Angelo's life. I will live my faith and rely totally on Jesus. Alleluia!

Happy Days

2011-07-30T22:10:00.000-06:00

Remember the TV show, Happy Days? It was about a healthy, intact family. They were happy most of the time and, although they had squabbles and "issues", they were always loving and reconciled within half an hour.   The Cunninghams were the ideal family with just enough foibles to make them welcome in our homes. Even the ultra-cool, loner, bad boy Fonzie wanted to be a part of the Cunningham family. True to form, Marion, Howard, Richie, and Joanie welcomed The Fonz into the family.

Family comes up a lot here. I remember hearing IBM managers say, "Family is most important..." Of course, that often meant "as long as it doesn't interfere with this critical business issue..."   (Don't get me wrong. IBM was a wonderful company to work for. I am proud to be an alum!) It isn't just IBM where the importance of family is equivocated. You see it in all sorts of ways in our lives -- in the climb up the career ladder, needing "me" or "us" time, sports or exercise classes, and even when justifying a divorce.   (I cringe when I hear "the children will be better off...")

In the last month or so, I have seen in a new way why a healthy family is so important.   Angelo, the ex-con who spoke to the Alonzo Movement kids, was overcome with a sense of abandonment when his father left the family, contributing to his life of crime. Maribel, still out on the streets with her babies, was deeply damaged by the constant message that she was too ugly for even the garbage man to pick up. Jasmin, back in rehab, was raped by her father at age 7. And the stories go on...63 of them at the Children's Home, 5 more at our safe house, and countless more at the El Cordero school and in the Alonzo Movement.   If you have been reading this blog, you know about these tragic stories of broken, dysfunctional families and lost childhoods.   And yet...

Last week I was struck by how deep and enduring the desire for family is. Last Tuesday, several of the She Dances team had a devotional with the 5 safe house girls. Before the final prayer, one of the girls asked if she could make a prayer request. Of course. She didn't ask for healing or courage or anything for herself. She asked for prayers for her father - her abusive, alcoholic, absent father. Prayers that he would give up alcohol and come back to the family. One by one, each of the girls added prayer requests. One wanted to meet her father, another wanted her family to be reunited, several wanted their families to come to God. Not one of these young girls who have suffered so much asked for anything for herself.   They simply asked for their heart's desire - a reunited, reconciled and faithful family.

Almighty God, our heavenly Father, who places solitary persons in families: We commend to your continual care the homes in which your people dwell. Put far from them, we beseech you, every root of bitterness, the desire of vainglory, and the pride of life. Fill them with faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, and godliness. Knit together in constant affection those who, in marriage, have been made one flesh. Turn the hearts of the parents to the children, and the hearts of the children to the parents; and so enkindle fervent charity among us all, that we may evermore be kindly one to another; through Jesus Christ our Lord. (BCP).

And, Lord, give these precious children Happy Days. Amen

Learning to dance

2011-07-26T23:12:00.000-06:00

Right now, as you are reading this, little girls are suffering.
A 7 year old is being raped by her father.
An 8 year old is living on the streets to get away from her abusive family.
A 14 year old is being kidnapped for sale as a sex slave.
An 11 year old is being held captive in a dark room and has not seen the light of day for 3 years.
A teenager is repeatedly hit hard on the head, causing brain damage, to keep her compliant as a stream of men pay to have sex with her.
A 10 year old is taking drugs to dull the pain of her life.
A pre-teen is sold for sex 8 times every day.
A baby girl is being sold by her mother for...who knows what.

I know all these girls. I have held them in my arms.

These atrocities are happening right now in Honduras, in SE Asia, all over the world, including the US. Through the grace of God, the vision of Jeremy Springer and the She Dances organization, and the calling of Suzy McCall and LAMB Institute, 5 precious girls (11 - 18 yrs.) are safe, no longer suffering from the pain and abuse listed above. They are living in La Vida Nueva, (A New Life) a beautiful home in the country with loving house mothers, a gifted Director, a dedicated child psychologist, and Spike, their dog.

A group of 18 people has been here all week from a small town near Birmingham, AL. This is their first international mission trip. The men on the She Dances team have built a swing set, 2 picnic tables, and a small counseling room at the house. There are some teenagers, guys and girls, who are part of a dance/drama group called 3 Strands along with their leader, Amanda. (It is very confusing to have two Amandas here.) The team is rounded out by loving women patiently doing arts and crafts with the girls. The team brought the girls a precious gift - a childhood, one they should have had years ago.

The new swing set!

Loving her very first baby doll

Coloring

The 3 Strands team performed their dramas choreographed to Christian rock songs. My favorite part of this week was watching the girls learn one of the dances. In many ways, the dance lessons are a metaphor for their new lives. Learning to dance is hard, confusing, frustrating, and exhausting. Just as they master one set of moves, a new and more challenging set comes along. They have to go back and practice the first moves over and over, sometimes messing them up as they struggle to add new skills. The learning seems endless...until finally the dance moves come together and they are victorious!

Learning to live a new life is hard, confusing, frustrating, and exhausting. It is a series of "two steps forward, one step back." They work hard to master new skills, attitudes, behaviors, and to let go of many more. They have to go back and practice the first things they learned and sometimes they mess up the simplest things. But, just as with 3 Strands, they have the Vida Nueva staff to model the right steps over and over. Patiently wait for them to catch up. Coach them, guide them, and encourage them. Love them. One day, I believe, it will all come together for each of them and they will have a New Life!

As Jeremy says, every girl should be able to dance... Amen.

Everything old is new again

2011-07-22T19:57:00.000-06:00

We have a team from Holy Trinity in Ridgeland, SC. They are new to LAMB! It is such a joy to experience people's first visit with them. It is sort of like being on my first mission trip over and over! This team is a particularly sweet team who welcomed me immediately as part of their family. So, every day is a new experience for them and I have been showing them all the people and places as well as explaining Honduran culture and answering their questions. It occurred to me that there have been many changes this year that y'all may not have seen.

So, here is a partial list (as many as I can remember!)

San Buenaventura (and on the way)

13 windmills with more coming (projected date to start them up is December)
Repaired road leading into the Children's Home. We had a couple teams earlier this year working on it and the last two teams have worked on it. It is much better and, so far is holding up in the rains.
Two new walls and leveled ground behind and in front of Sala Cuna (the nursery cabin)
Concrete floors in the Boy's Dormitory
A new recreation room for the kids
2 baby girl goats
Swings on the swing set
New knee pads and gloves for Aaron Joshue
New tutors (our hearts broke when we had to say good-bye to Tomasa and Antonyetta due to our financial difficulties)

2 of the many windmills

Filling pot holes on our road!

New wall behind Sala Cuna

Finished floors in boys' dorm

Playing foosball in the new rec room

Kids named the goats Amanda and Suzy!

Level ground and new wall by the cottages

AJ decked out with his cool knee pads and gloves!

Flor ministries

An excited and energized Alonzo Movement after the Today Show filming and an unexpected gift of 400 pairs of shoes from the Buckner Organization! (We can't post Today Show weekend pictures until after the segment airs...except these of the soccer tournament!)
A robust and growing Micro-enterprise program
A rockin' school celebrating Cacique Lempira Day (Lempira is a national hero)

Don Wilbur who led the Today Show to us!

SBV boys (in blue) playing in the tournament

SBV girls played too (in same uniforms!)

San Vicente (where Suzy lives)

Sammy! We got Sammy at 3 months, scrawny and malnourished. His new mother, Mari, has transformed him into a bouncy, chubby, adorable bundle of joy!
A new roof, bat free!
A renewed Jasmin, graduated from her drug rehab program and preparing to attend cooking school

Sammy on his half birthday!

Jasmine and her much loved son, Lester Alexander

Safe House

2 more lovely young ladies, rescued from horrors we can't begin to imagine (No pictures allowed). The youngest girl we have is 11, one just turned 12, one is 14, and two are 17.

Casa LAMB

A real, live beautiful landscaped backyard!
Lots of framed pictures of the children from SBV and the school
A huge wood LAMB logo on the wall
Lovely curtains made by Anne Patrick's sewing circle from La Cantera
Lots of Central American art and bedspreads

Mango tree!

Flower bed around the pinata pole!

Just wait till the bushes grow!

Banana tree bed!

Full Circle

2011-07-11T21:35:00.000-06:00

This summer is one team after another. Most weeks we drop one team off at the airport, hang around for a bit, and pick up the next team. Naturally, every team is different. I am always sad to see a team leave because there are always a couple of people I have grown close to (in a week!) and also excited to meet the new group. Summer brings lots of youth on mission trips which adds an extra dimension to the fun!

One thing that stays pretty consistent is the schedule. At this point, I pretty much know exactly what to expect...until something surprises me! Yesterday was "Sunday schedule" -- Breakfast at 8 (30 minutes more to sleep!), vans at 9:30, church with the children at SBV from 10:30 (ish) to 11:30 (ish), lunch on the chapel portico, and at about 1:00, spend time playing, reading "Huevos verdes con jamón" (Green Eggs and Ham) and doing crafts with the kids.

Everything was progressing as scheduled, the team was well fed as some played soccer and others did crafts and still others played with the babies. Gabriel, who was covering for Milton over the weekend, told me that a group was arriving to do fluoride treatments on the kids. No problem. Half the kids would get the treatments while the other half played with our team. Then, switch!

I was curious about the group doing the fluoride treatments so I went up to the school to investigate. Surprise! It was a youth group from a 7th Day Adventist Church in Tegucigalpa and a dentist from the church. They were painting the kids' teeth with fluoride, giving them some clothes, a coloring book and a toothbrush. Many of them spoke beautiful English! One of their leaders explained to me that they brought the youth group to "learn how to give." I responded, "Yes, we have a youth group here from the US so they can learn how to give!"

After they finished treating the kids, they streamed down to the soccer field to join in the game! After some interdenominational, inter-generational, international play, it was time for them to leave. We all gathered on the field in a huge circle holding hands -- SBV kids, LAMB staff, First Scot's Youth Team, and the Honduran Youth Group. Gabriel, one of the most passionate pray-ers ever, stood in the middle of the circle and proclaimed our love, our lives, and our service for Jesus. Next, James Rogers, First Scot's youth pastor, prayed. Finally, the Honduran dentist explained that God has no denomination and no country. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Then he prayed.

It was such a beautiful and unexpected moment. We strongly felt the presence of the Holy Spirit as we all, so different in so many ways, were united in the most important way...Amen.

US and Honduran youth playing soccer

Honduran dentist leads us in prayer

SBV kids, North Americans, Hondurans united....

Looking for Jesus

2011-07-07T16:31:00.000-06:00

In the interest of full disclosure I must write that I am a long time member and former leader of the Atlanta team... That said, I would like to categorically announce that the ATL team is the funniest team that comes to LAMB. As an example, there was Karen "Bumblebee's" first trip when she wondered who "Alberto" was because he seemed to own all the stores and,she sniffed in disgust, named them all after himself! When the pandemonium in the van subsided we pointed out it actually was "Abierto" (Open) on the door of every store. Then there was teen-aged Alyssa who solemnly explained, "I didn't not catch the ball. The ball missed my hand." And, to be fair, there was my first attempt at speaking Spanish to the Honduran construction workers, shouting "Tengo hombre!" (I have a man!) instead of "Tengo hambre!" (I am hungry!)

Upside down manger

It also turns out the ATL team is Nativity-challenged. We discovered this a few years ago when Bonnie Underwood and Karen Bumblebee both bought pewter Nativity sets from Giancarlo's. Bonnie called me, still laughing, to tell me how she thought Baby Jesus was missing. Turns out she had the manger upside down as her husband Jess had gleefully pointed out!

The next day I got an email from Karen Bumblebee:
"Amanda, I am so bummed. The manger in my pewter nativity set is missing Baby Jesus!"

I wrote back: "Turn it over."

She replied: "Well, OK but what are you going to do with an empty manger?"
Me: "Turn the manger over! You are looking at it upside down!"
I immediately copied Bonnie and Jess (and the rest of the team) on this email exchange.

Baby Jesus in the manger

So, I thought the team's Nativity difficulties were over until I just recently received a Facebook message from Pamm Ferrand:
Pamm: "Guess what? In my panic to buy the nativity set I forgot Jesus! And I didn't make a "Bonnie" mistake; it is not there."
(I didn't immediately respond because I know this team so well.)
Next day Pamm writes: "So I did do a Bonnie! Found Jesus!"
Me: "was He upside down?"
Pamm: "Worse- he was in Mary's arms! Duh"
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA

This got me to thinking, though...

How often do we find ourselves frantically looking for Jesus when, in reality, He has been right there all along. Sometimes you need to turn things around to see Him. Sometimes all you need to do is look in the most obvious place!

Amen.

I wish God had a speakerphone

2011-07-07T07:31:00.000-06:00

Have you ever received a call from God? Something small or something life changing? How did you know? How did you explain it to other people? Wouldn't it be so much simpler if God used a speakerphone so everyone around you could hear the same thing? They could affirm the call, they would share an understanding of the call, they could explain to others that you aren't crazy!

But, no. No speakerphones.   God's call is a frequent topic of conversation here. Most every team member has felt called to come on their specific mission trip or to serve God in Honduras or to something larger. I have had conversations with a number of people pondering whether God is calling them to mission work on a larger scale -- a deferred semester from freshman year, 3 months of service, a year or even longer.

Everyone wants to hear about Suzy's call. Suzy's life shows us that a call isn't just a moment in time. It isn't like a phone call, with or without speakerphone, that has a distinct beginning and end. She is always at the ready to pick up the "phone", listen, and respond, "Yes, Lord."

I am not an expert on calls from God and Suzy's story is best told by her.   Suzy's Spiritual Mother, Linda, is visiting this week. For those of you who have heard Suzy give her testimony you know it all started at the College of Charleston when she went to a Bible study that rocked her world. Linda was the leader of that Bible Study! I am anxious to hear about Suzy's call from Linda's point of view.

People also ask me about how I got to Honduras. My story isn't nearly as dramatic or inspirational as Suzy's but here goes...

I was busy being a mother and IBMer when my church, St. David's, started sending mission teams to Honduras. I attended a fundraiser, bought some silent auction items and was vaguely aware the team was leaving soon. The next year I accidentally attended the mission team's presentation during Sunday School. The Rector's Forum had been turned over to the team for that week. I was on the Vestry and felt I should stay and listen. (Confession: If I had known ahead of time I would have gone to a different class!) Anyway, I was so moved by their presentation that I started sponsoring a child and thought that someday it might be fun to go on a mission trip. I love to travel and am adventurous so, why not!    My involvement in LAMB for the next couple of years was the monthly check sent automatically from my bank. The timing of the mission trips didn't work for me as a single mom with kids in school.

When Hunter, my younger son, went of to college I found myself with much more time than I had expected.   Still, LAMB and mission trips were not top of mind. The week between Christmas and New Year's I was shocked to receive a kick in the rear from the Holy Spirit - go to Honduras in March! I asked Fr. Paul, my rector, if it was too late to join the March trip. "Yes!... but I will write a note of introduction to the team leader." He wrote to Bonnie Underwood saying essentially that I was a nice person and went to church regularly. No Rector arm twisting at all! So I called Bonnie:

Me: "Hi! Um, I know it is too late to join the team but if there is any way I could be put on a waiting list, I would really appreciate it!"
Bonnie: "Well, I was just sitting here worrying about what I was going to do with this extra airplane ticket. Someone just called and had to cancel."

(By the way, this is exactly the same way Wheeler joined his first team! Thanks Steve and Gloria for cancelling!)

So, knowing absolutely nothing about LAMB, Honduras or mission work, off I went in March 2007. I knew the Holy Spirit was sending me for a reason but I had no idea what that would be. I came home transformed in many ways, the most important way was fully believing for the first time in many years that God loves me in a personal and intimate way.

So 10 mission trips later, the "phone" rings again.
The Lord: "Hi! Me again. I want you to go to Honduras full time in January."
Me: "Yay! I had hoped you would call me to Honduras but don't you mean July?   Cuz in December I will have 29.5 years with IBM and, um, like, um, everyone retires with 30 years!"
The Lord: "No. Go to Honduras in January."
Me: "Yes, Lord." (Imagine my IBM colleagues' reaction to missing the 30 year milestone by 6 months! Yes, I left $$ on the table but I was afraid to put God on hold..!)

So here I am and so happy. Now, in reality the whole call process was not that simple. I don't want anyone to think I took this lightly or didn't do the hard work to ensure I had actually heard a call. I had already been praying for years about this (hoping for a call) and studying Spanish on my own while working full time at IBM and holding several concurrent leadership positions at church and another non-profit. When He called, I entered into months of rigorous discernment and prayer. My call was affirmed by two priests, many parishioners, my children and several family members, many fellow mission team members (One said, "Amanda, it has been so obvious since your first trip...") and by Suzy.

I just wish God had been on speakerphone though because the call was so clear as I know it continues to be for Suzy. So, my advice to you... Be ready, listen for the phone and answer it with the refrain to one of my favorite songs:

Here I am, Lord.
Is it I, Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night.
I will go, Lord,
if you lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart.

Serious imagination

2011-07-04T20:17:00.000-06:00

It finally happened. After 6 months of being only moderately careful, I got sick. Really sick. So today, as I begin recuperating I find myself with lots of time. While wandering around the internet I found a talk Janet Echelman, a sculptor, gave at TED, a nonprofit organization dedicated to "Ideas worth spreading." The talk was fascinating but what really struck me was the story of her first sculpture. She was in India to talk about painting but her paints didn't arrive. She didn't have the materials she needed so she made due, she improvised. She made a massive sculpture out of nets after watching Indian fisherman weave and throw them into the sea. What a glorious example of reuse, or as she puts it "taking imagination seriously."

Here in Honduras, imagination is serious work. Enough (or any) of the proper tools and materials are hard to come by. Nothing is wasted and even the most unlikely things are reused. And yet, standards of quality are not "improvised." We work with master craftsmen who will not compromise the safety and security of the children. Many of us have watched the construction workers pull a rusty nail out of an old board and hammer it straight to use again. I have been collecting pictures of improvisational work for some time now. Some examples are ingenious, some hi-tech, some lo-tech, some funny and some heartbreaking. Coming from a culture of "discard and buy new" I am intrigued by how Hondurans take imagination seriously.

A little convenience store becomes a dentist's office	Scrap wood becomes a ladder...	...or scaffolding
An old tire and scrap of treated wood becomes a swing set	A couple logs and 2x4s become soccer goals	An empty drink bottles becomes a faucet
Aaron Joshue uses shoes to protect his hands while crawling	A concrete soccer field becomes a lovely restaurant for dinner...	...and dancing
A chapel becomes a place of a different kind of healing	Empty baby formula cans become weights for the "Rec Room"	Bits of PVC pipe, broken table, wood scraps and plastic bring new life to a discarded Foosball table
Honduran entrepreneurs are preparing to make use of the prevalent heavy winds...	...while others make use of whatever they can find for shelter

We reuse space, discarded items, bits and pieces of nature around us and we reuse something else much more...

Love

Staff for the children

Children for each other

Volunteers for the kids

Servants for their brother

A boy for his dog (sharing tattoos!)

A mother for a boy

Classmates for each other

A teen for a teen

A Nurse Practitioner for her patient

Families for one another

Girls for their new shoes!

A hopeful mom for her son

So seriously use your imagination... Look for ways to save, share, reuse, and refurbish. Take the money you save and reuse it as a love offering. Help us to end this kind of reuse

by engaging in more and more "reuse" of this love

Wait for it...

2011-06-30T22:18:00.000-06:00

11 years old - first fight. Broke both arms and 4 ribs on two high school kids.
12 years old - killed for the first time
14 years old - went to church once, liked it, never went back
15 years old - had bodyguards and a chauffeur for his stolen car

50 kids in the Alonzo Movement listened to this autobiography on the soccer field at the El Cordero school in Flor del Campo. Angelo, a tough, muscular man dressed all in black continued with his story that included an adolescence of murder for the fun of it, ascent to power, intimidation and domination. His "career" continued to grow as his heart hardened to the point of non-existence. "I had no heart," Angelo said repeatedly.

Gabriel and the Alonzo kids listening...

At 16, he was offered 24,000 lempira to steal a specific kind of car. He and a friend agreed. Moments later, that type of car pulled up at a nearby corner. Pulling their guns, they forced the driver over to the passenger seat. Angelo's friend got in the driver's seat, Angelo in the back. The friend pushed the gun into the man's side. Angelo had his gun pointed at his back in one hand and a machete in the other. "If you think you can get away before I shoot this gun, try it," warned Angelo. The friend said, "Man you are going to die." The man responded, "To live is Christ, to die is gain." Again the friend threatened the man. "I want to live. I have two small children at home. But, to live is Christ, to die is gain." Angelo silently put his gun back in his pocket. They finally let the man go and took the car to collect their money.

Angelo's life continued on track, growing in reputation, respect and power from all those he dominated. At one time he had 12 girlfriends and hundreds of people who revered or feared him. He had everything he had ever wanted. He was the go-to guy for any theft, beating or assassination anyone wanted done.

Angelo reading the Bible

At 19, on May 5, 1998 he was arrested and convicted for 11 murders and one assassination. Sentenced to life in prison, Angelo simply moved his domain from Flor to the prison. (Mike Sabback and the men on his team spent today at the high security prison. They described Honduran prisons as more like college campuses. The inmates are free to move around within the walls as they choose, they have restaurants and micro-enterprises! ) He quickly established himself as the "baddest" man there. Another inmate was his personal cook. He controlled the sale and use of marijuana, cocaine, and other drugs. He continued killing people who crossed him. He presided over hundreds of inmates. The one group he left alone were the Christians because he recognized they were beyond his power just as the man in the car was.   One day, Angelo walked into a meeting of all of his followers and announced that from that day forward he would not drink, take drugs or be violent against another person again. He had decided to follow Christ, that higher power. And he did and does. He is out of prison, still on probation, studying to be a Pastor.

Two things about his story are remarkable to me. First, he did not have a dramatic conversion after he had hit rock bottom. No, he was at the top of his game. The Alpha Male of the prison.   Angelo wasn't desperate for salvation, he wasn't at death's door or suffering from some horrible illness. He just recognized there was a better way, Christ's way, and believed.

The second remarkable thing was the scene in the carjacking. Faced with certain death, the car owner responded with Scripture. And threatened again with a violent death, he repeated Scripture.   Amazing but not the most remarkable part of the story.   The man in the car living his faith in the darkest moment of his life brings the Light to a man years later. Live your faith and then wait for it...someone's life may be changed.

The Alonzo kids praying

IPU in the ICU

2011-06-28T21:45:00.001-06:00

Lou Anne with a patient family

Two and a half weeks ago we had a medical brigade here. One member, Lou Anne, is a nurse practitioner. Lou Anne has more energy - physical, mental and emotional -- than just about anyone I know. She saw more patients in a given day than any of the other doctors. She greeted each patient (and usually it was a family of patients) with a smile, plastering a sticker on the children, leaning forward to listen to them. As she took their medical history, list of symptoms and worries, she radiated a genuine love for each and all of them. She has a wonderful sense of humor which often came through despite the language differences. Back at Casa LAMB she was the life of the party! What a blessing it was to spend a week with her.

Tonight she is in the ICU with a severe head injury as a result of a riding accident. She is a single mother with two young daughters. How quickly and unexpectedly things change. How precious is every day with the people we love.

Dr. Mike Sabback

This week we have two teams in house. One is a construction team from Holy Cross in S.C. and the other is a prayer team from a small town in S.C. I spent the day with the prayer team today. I have never spent an entire day praying! I didn't know what to expect. I confess I secretly feared I would get bored after an hour or two. Not so much. I don't have pictures because this is a very personal and confidential activity. I will try to describe at least the mechanics of the process. I am not gifted enough to describe the feeling and power of the experience. This afternoon the team prayed for the office staff. One at a time a staff member would come into David's office which he had graciously given to us. Dr. Mike would invite the person to sit down and engage in a short, casual conversation to put everyone at ease - "How are you? What do you do?" etc. Then he asks if they have any specific prayer requests. We stand, surrounding the person, placing a hand on his/her shoulder or back. The prayers begin. Sometimes Mike starts and sometimes another "prayer warrior" starts. The prayers are very specific. We are huddled together locked in a posture of love, support and prayer. Mike exhorts us to make eye contact periodically but I found it difficult to lift my head and open my eyes. Between prayers there would be a moment of silence and then another prayer would begin. At first I would be waiting my turn, composing my contribution while Mike or Liz or Neil was praying. I would be dismayed when someone "took" my prayer and I would have to start over composing a new one! I finally figured out that all I needed to do was silently pray along with the vocal pray-er and wait for the Holy Spirit to move me to contribute a prayer out loud. I didn't need to compose it. It flowed. As the prayer time continued, it seemed to get more intimate and more intense until Mike or Will brought out a small vial of oil and annointed the person in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. At that moment I felt we were physically and spiritually joined together. Amen.

We took a short break between staff members to rest and debrief. Mike was great at gently instructing us in ways to increase the intensity and effectiveness of the prayer time. Specificity was one guidepost. Pray for what the person had requested, not what we thought they needed or the solution we thought was called for. During one break, Liz, the teenaged daughter of Will and Lynne, joked that it was time to return to the IPU - Intensive Prayer Unit. I laughed thinking what an apt description that was. What I have learned from today is that prayer is very powerful to the "pray-ee" and the "pray-er." Prayer is very a very intimate experience, one to revere and cherish. And prayer is done wherever the heart is.

Tonight I ask you to join me in the IPU at the bedside of Lou Anne in the ICU. Pray with intensity and specificity for Lou Anne's healing, her daughters and loved ones, the nurses and doctors who are caring for her, her patients who are missing her loving touch, her mission team partners who look forward to being with her here next year, and thank the Lord for her precious life.

O God, the strength of the weak and the comfort of sufferers: Mercifully accept our prayers, and grant to your servant,Lou Anne Pritchard, the help of your power, that this sickness may be turned into health, and our sorrow into joy; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Here they come!

2011-06-20T22:29:00.000-06:00

I spent the morning at the airport on Friday.   First saying good bye to the Medical Brigade and then pacing the floor waiting for my Atlanta peeps (translation: friends) to arrive!   Every group is so different. Of course each group is made up of individuals but each group has its own mini-culture. The last group, a medical brigade, was the "Granita Team!" They stop everyday at On The Run, a gas station and convenience store to get coffee granitas - a multi-year ritual. The Atlanta youth team is raucous fun, sort of like a box of puppies. They keep a list of funny things said on the trip for a "quote tee shirt!" (I think the quote tee shirt is mythical but adding to the list adds to the laughter at the moment.) Since they arrived we have practiced the "minute to win it" games they had planned for the SBV kids, had a Field Day with the kids, visited Chimineke, the awesome children's museum, attended church at SBV and then went shopping at Valley.   Next up: hard work.

So, when the work does start, granitas and horsing around fall away and as Alex, 18, wrote on his facebook wall: ...tomorrow is the beginning of spreading the love of God to the amazing people of Flor de Campo and San Buenaventura!! Get ready here we come!!

How true that is. Whether it is holding clinics or doing construction or, as the next team will do, praying intensely over every child and staff member, each team member on every team pours out their energy, love, and faith.   I love to observe the hearts of uber cool teens or very professional professionals melt as they interact with the people God puts in their paths. One pretty crusty doctor (in a good way!) delighted frightened children he was examining by singing a very eclectic mix of songs at the top of his lungs.   Hayley, a rising senior in college, wept at SBV - "this place makes me cry" (in a good way!) It was such a blessing to me to get to know her and her heart for mission, never mind her stamina. After working all day at a clinic she was the last one to stop working at night preparing for the next day's clinic. A new member of the current team, Jacob, spent a long time teaching 3 little boys (4 and 5) how to play baseball. He was so patient and gentle with them. (Michael and Jill -- be so proud!) Joey, one of the moms on the trip, sat patiently on Saturday while the little girls painted coat after coat after coat of nail polish on her finger nails. Every nail was a different color, several of them glittery! The male readers of this blog don't understand how uncomfortable it is to have 10 layers of polish on your nails but believe you me, it is awful. Yet, Joey smiled and laughed with them as the polish piled on.

Team cultures are like corporate cultures or national cultures. They develop over time and each culture has its own set of practices, rituals, lingo, and priorities.   It is fascinating to me, a former culture change consultant for IBM. The more striking thing about these team cultures is what they have in common. The members work tirelessly, without complaint. They are flexible and accommodating. They are kind to each other, to me and the rest of the Casa LAMB staff, and to everyone they meet. They are generous in spirit and in gifts.   They are thrilled to be here helping LAMB. (I am not sure they even realize the sacrifices they made to be here.) Most of all they love the Lord and serving Him with gladness and singleness of heart.

I am particularly moved by the youth who so openly and joyfully proclaim their faith.   They make it "cool" to love Jesus! When I think about the youth from Summerville, Tennessee, Atlanta, and all the others who have been here this week, my heart soars. I want to shout from the rooftops,

"Our youth are beginning to spread the amazing love of God...Get ready! Here they come!"

(and we ol' folks ain't done yet either!)

The teens on the Atlanta team

Medical Brigade!

Ester moved to tears while translating during the Pentecost service

Dr. Ken pondering which song to sing?

Alex and Kennet waiting for church to start

Jacob teaching Kennet to play ball

Alyssa and Rony


Hayley reflecting, as so many of these young people do, on what God is calling her to do

Ring the bell

2011-06-14T13:26:00.001-06:00

We have a small pewter bell at Casa LAMB, courtesy of a team member here very early on. It is used to call the teams to meals, team meetings and to devotions. It is lovely and earsplitting. I tease the teams that we use that bell because the sound motivates people to get downstairs as fast as possible to make it stop! It totally works.

We have another bell, also beautiful, donated by a family who loves LAMB. It is the large bronze bell in the bell tower at the chapel in SBV. This bell rings with a resonance that calls your heart first and then your feet. I love to hear the bell ringing on a Sunday morning calling the children to worship. The bell sound is rapidly followed by the sound of children coming up the hill to church. Some are giggling and horsing around on their way, some are singing, some are helping the younger children, some are walking purposefully to praise God.   Bells are an integral part of the mission team experience here at LAMB.

I have been thinking of something else the last few days. The first rector I had when we moved to Atlanta was Fr. Hendree Harrison, now at home with the Lord. He always used to tell us, "Christianity isn't for sissies!"   This was his exhortation when times were tough, when following Christ was hard, when we didn't want to do God's will. Don't we all secretly, deep down, want following Christ to be all hearts and flowers? Only Christmas and Easter morning?   If we are honest, how many of us would rather skip Good Friday? By this I mean the Good Fridays of our spiritual journeys. We pray to be spared from trials and tribulations, heartbreak and sacrifice, and tough choices that challenge our faith.

As we know, Easter doesn't happen without Good Friday. We must soldier through the desert, those dark and difficult times that try our faith, that drain our strength, that frighten us, that seem impossible. Hendree was right -- Christianity isn't for sissies. LAMB needs non-sissies right now, immediately. We are in a desert caused by rising expenses (increase in minimum wage, sharply rising food and fuel prices) and reduced donations. Last week, the leadership team had to break hearts - their own, those of the 9 people laid off, the hearts of the rest of the staff who miss our colleagues, and most wrenchingly, the hearts of the children in SBV who have experienced yet another loss as several of their caretakers had to leave them.

It is time for all of us who love LAMB to ring the bell. To call new people to serve God by supporting LAMB. You choose which bell to ring, the pewter one heard by the people around you or the bronze bell heard throughout the community.   What LAMB needs most of all is more people like you. People who love LAMB, who pray for LAMB, and who support LAMB. We need people to make monthly commitments, of any size. As Pastor Bob explained to his team the other night, 350 people giving $20 a month would close the financial gap. Please help us ring the bell and close the gap with monthly sponsors. I know that takes many people out of their comfort zone. But, onward Christian soldiers!   Tell everyone you know about how God works miracles every day here in Honduras. Invite people to become part of that miracle!

Ring the bell!

Neighbors

2011-06-09T22:16:00.000-06:00

The scripture for this morning was the story of the good Samaritan. I love that story for so many reasons. At the end of the parable Jesus gives a pop quiz: Which of these three, do you think, was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?" He said, "The one who showed him mercy." Jesus said to him, "Go and do likewise." Luke 10:36-37

I love this concept of being merciful. It reminds me of a piece of advice I received many years ago from an IBM colleague: "Sometimes it is better to be kind than to be right." I think about that all the time (well, sadly I forget to think about it sometimes as I struggle to be right!) Substituting the word merciful for kind and the call to action is clear: Go and do likewise.

So today I had several opportunities to think about neighbors. Early this morning I rushed to the pulperia (tiny neighborhood store) to buy two of the big bottles of water that go on the dispenser. In doing so I came across the first surly Hondurans I have ever encountered in all my visits to Honduras! A young man, flirting with the young woman behind the counter, watched me as I struggled to carry the first water bottle to the car. He impassively watched as I tumbled off the curb with the second one, landing face down in the gutter. She snatched the money from my bleeding hand and bruised arm as I limped to the car. Not a flicker of compassion or concern. Frankly I was flabbergasted because every single Honduran to this point has been merciful and kind. I suppose it was my inadequate Spanish that kept me from making a snarky, unmerciful comment.

My next opportunity came at the airport as I met our latest team. A medical brigade from Tennessee that includes Dr. Jim and Hayley from February's brigade and Betty Lisle, the mother of Jeff Lisle who started the Honduras mission ministry at St.David's! Had he not, I would certainly still be slogging away at IBM. I owe Jeff a huge debt of gratitude and it was a thrill to tell his mom how he changed my life.

Next opportunity was at SBV as we played soccer with the kids and I FELL DOWN AGAIN! I was charging after the ball, defending the goal when a root popped up and twisted itself around my shoelace. I went flying head and hands first, quickly followed by knees, hip, shoulder... you get the picture. I had an immediate orthopedic consult with Dr. Jim and lots of love and sympathy from the kids and team members. Jose David even pointed out the offending root to prove I am not totally "torpe" (well, I am a klutz but I sure appreciated his merciful effort to spare my pride.)

I am lying on my bed with skinned knees and hands blogging as the brigade team, all of whom got up at 4AM, is still busy sorting meds and preparing to care for their neighbors in Colonia Emanuel. How blessed they will be when this team reacts as the Samaritan did showing love, care, mercy and sharing their faith with each one they see.

I want to close with the best reenactment of the Good Samaritan story ever! Watch it, laugh, and then go and do likewise!

One word

2011-06-04T09:07:00.001-06:00

Change.

Several years ago, I was in a Bible study led by my then Rector, Fr. Paul. He handed out a small piece of paper and instructed us to describe Jesus in a single word. One and only one word. For example, you might write "love" to describe Jesus. We all struggled, some tried to craft a question to get permission to use two words or a short phrase. Fr. Paul was firm (quelle surprise!) and restated: One word. Try it, it is hard to do. After we had completed the exercise he explained that everyone reads Scripture through a unique filter or perspective. Your word indicates your filter.

Since then, I have often applied this exercise to people. So, tonight was "Suzy Night" at Casa LAMB. Suzy and several of her girls spend an evening with the groups singing, praying, talking, and answering questions. Tonight she brought two guests, Reina and Jasmine. Reina, 18, is well known to anyone who has been here before. She lived at the Children's Home for 7.5 years, returning home in January. Jasmine is 20 and has known Suzy for many years. Jasmine's son, Lester Alexander, lives at the Children's Home.

The living room at Casa LAMB was stuffed with people. 25 (mostly teens) from St. Paul's in Summerville, SC, Reina and Jasmine, Diana from Vermont (here for a couple weeks,) Mari and Sammy (so cute!) Elsa, and me. After some songs and prayer, Reina started her testimony with Diana translating. Reina shared a recent life lesson with the group. After all her years at SBV she had changed alot. She assumed that her family had changed also. In January, when she turned 18, she decided to move back home with her mother and older brother Jorge.   Suzy implored her not to leave... Reina since has regretted this decision. During Holy Week, they went to Comayagua to visit the rest of their family. While there, Reina realized none of them had changed. They were still drinking heavily, disrespecting her and enticing her to join them in their dysfunctional behavior. After her mother left, Reina stayed for a longer visit. Her first cousin tried to molest her. Reina became very emotional so we took a song break (more on that later.) When she composed herself she encouraged us all to listen to the advice from people who love us and to know that we can change ourselves. She reminded us that when we change, others may not. Hang on to your new self and relinquish the old. Reina is a beautiful girl, a young woman of deep faith, hope and full of potential. She is my Honduran daughter! My one word for her is Promise.

Jasmine gave us her autobiography, detail by horrifying detail.   At 7 she was living on the street. She prostituted herself, was raped, ran through a litany of drugs she has taken including crack and heroine. She was kidnapped with a gun to her head, jumped out of the moving car and dodged the bullets aimed at her as she escaped. She has been offered and rejected Suzy's help over and over and over.   But now, she is in her 7th week of a 3 month Christian rehab program. She has earned a higher status of "collaborator" in the program. She told Suzy she wants help learning a vocation when she gets out. Her goal is to become healthy and stable enough to regain custody of Lester Alexander. She, too, talked about change..how it is the Lord Jesus who leads us all to a changed life. Three months ago she was sitting in the same living room, high on drugs, belligerent and surly. Last night, still fragile, she was self-assured, loving, and full of resolve. A changed person. My one word for her is Determined.

And my word for Suzy? Perseverance. She never gives up on these lost lambs. So many times they have broken her heart and yet she is always there when they seek her out. She seeks them out when they are distant to remind them she is always there, she loves them and that they are precious, beloved children of God.

More about the song break. A 15 year old, Liz, on the team performed a song she wrote this week, inspired by the team's experiences.    The second verse goes like this:

I thought I'd be the servant of God
I thought I'd be the one changing lives
Boy, was I wrong
They changed me.

My word for Liz is Messenger. She has much to say to us all.

My one word for my experience in Honduras is Change. My first trip in March of 2007 changed me in profound ways.   We see the change that love, God's first and then the love from the people of LAMB, works in the children at the Children's Home and the El Cordero school. We see the change in the adults in Flor and the teens in the Alonzo Movement whom the Lord has brought to us.   We see miracles every day.

My one word for Jesus? Redeemer. He can and does redeem anything and anyone. No one is is beyond His reach. Alleluia, alleluia, Christ is Risen. The Lord is Risen indeed. Alleluia.

Suzy singing in prayer and Lucy, one her of miracle children

Beautiful, poised, precious Reina

Jasmine and a picture of her son. When she opened the gift of the framed picture she exclaimed, "This is the best gift I have ever received in my life."

Liz's song:

You walked through that door
Don't know what's in store
Had no idea that in a week
You would change me

I thought I'd be the servant of God
I thought I'd be the one changing lives
Boy, was I wrong
They changed me.

They're beaten and bruised everyday
They're just trying to find a way
Tears filled my eyes
They're so young, so innocent and kind

You found a way into my heart
Even though I was falling apart
You broke down those walls through tears
Washed away my fears

They can't understand
That God has a plan
They can't understand
That God knows their plan

You found a way into my heart
Even though I was falling apart
You broke down those walls through tears
Washed away my fears

Someday they'll understand
That God has a plan for them...

In Dependence

2011-05-31T21:35:00.000-06:00

I am back in Honduras after spending almost a month in the US. It was a wonderful family and friend filled visit. As the month went on, I found myself thinking alot about independence and dependence. Independence is a good thing, something we all strive for from the moment we are born. I will never forget my younger son, Hunter, as a toddler stomping around the house declaring, "I will do it mine self!"   Yes, independence is a quality we all value highly. Conversely, dependence...not so much. Have you ever "diagnosed" someone with the pop-psychology term of co-dependency? We hear it all the time, often accompanied by a sneer. No one wants to be on the receiving end of that! So my visit in the US included my older son, Billy's, graduation from law school - an "independence" milestone. My time in the US also included my father's 90th birthday extravaganza. Clearly, independence is top of mind at his age -- holding on to it as long as possible. (So far so good.)

It was during Daddy's party that I starting reflecting on dependence. Is being dependent with someone you love a bad thing? I don't think so. I think that is what God intended for our relationships. To be in dependence with each other. I see it in the relationships of the 90 somethings at Daddy's party. The loving couples who share everything with each other, take care of each other and love each other in that is more often "in sickness" than "in health."   And yet, in wheelchairs, with fading memories, and hearing aids at full volume they wear their hearts on their sleeves...

I see the children at the Children's Home naturally caring for each other, being in dependence with each other. Even the tiniest ones participate. One of my favorite pictures is from a year ago of Paola (4) holding hands with her sister, Fani (3), and their nephew, Lester (2) walking "home" together across the courtyard to their cottage after a big birthday party.   Or when the children make sure their caretakers get a piece of the candy the visiting team is handing out. Or the older children carrying the younger children on the long procession to the Easter baptism.

The dependence we fight the hardest, I think, is the most important of all. Dependence on our Lord. He assures us we have nothing to worry about but we do anyway. We struggle through life trying to be independent of the one who loves us the most.   The One who chooses to be co-dependent with us. St. Augustine said: "Without God, we cannot; without us, God will not."

Imagine, God chooses to be dependent on us to do His work in this life.   In return, He offers us everything. I want to be co-dependent with God. I'm working on it...

Lester, Paola, Fani walking home

Feliz Dia de la Resurrección!

2011-04-25T20:30:00.000-06:00

(Happy Day of the Resurrection!) This greeting, in lieu of Happy Easter, is accompanied by a big hug from old friends and just met ones alike! And what a feliz dia it was! On Saturday, Lety and I went off in search of flowers to decorate the Chapel. No flowers to be found anywhere. Honduras pretty much shuts down during Holy Week and by Saturday you are hard pressed to find anything open. Fortunately, there was a nursery open so we stopped to get flowering plants. Lety and Jorge, who was staying with Suzy for the week, repotted the flowers. They were beautiful! The pots were painted different colors and looked like Easter eggs! We used a white chasuble for the altar cloth. We sure could use vestments for every season...

Elvia, the priest, came to celebrate. By about 10:15 the Chapel was filled with children and several visitors including, David and Evelyn, Arely, Elvia's father, Karla and her baby, Wilson, and some folks from Cristo Redentor!

With Raul and Cindy as acolytes, the service began. We sang (I listened) several lively songs led by Mari's great choir. After opening prayers, Elvia started the Baptism service. All the candidates, Jonibel, Kevin, Norma, Raul, Rony, Emanuel, Tony, came up front and stated why they wanted to be baptized. The Godparents (Padrinos) were asked to come up. David, Evelyn, Arely, and I joined the children. We all affirmed the baptismal covenants and then we were ready to process to the river for the actual baptism!

It is a long way to the river, particularly if you are carrying a cross (like Raul) or playing a guitar and singing (like Suzy!) We processed down to the entrance gate, along the road, then behind the houses to a trail very popular with cows... (Question: Were the very fresh cow pies a metaphor for the obstacles we face on our Christian journey?) Finally, we arrived at the river, a bit out of breath, a bit damp from the heat and humidity, but very excited. Everyone found a good spot to watch the proceedings - some up in a tree, some on a bigger person's shoulders, several across the river on the rocks, some of us precariously perched on a tipply rock in the river to take pictures! Elvia took off her shoes, hoisted up her vestments and stepped into the river. One by one the children bravely approached. A couple of the children balked at the "full" in full immersion. Elvia, very experienced at this, didn't hesitate and under they went - just for the tiniest moment! The newly baptized was handed over to someone ready with a towel and the next candidate stepped in. Jonibel was true to form. Although he took Baptism seriously, he just couldn't resist that one opportunity to get a laugh! Raul was the last but the best prepared and took off his shirt before going under. After Raul's baptism we suddenly realized we had to process back to the Chapel...up hill! Truthfully, it was more of a straggle.

Back in the Chapel, Elvia anointed the baptized children, Suzy gave them each a white candle. She lit the first and then they lit each other's in turn. Aplauso! Welcome the newest members of the Body of Christ! (During the passing of the peace, I scurried around blowing out the candles before we had an early Pentecost with the flames!) The service resumed with Mass. It was so sweet seeing the newly baptized take their first communion. There is a lovely tradition here. The altar party processes out during the final song and while the congregation is singing, they gather together for final prayers. I love that.

Once church was over the children rushed to the Chapel porch for a grand fiesta!

Elvia's father

Most of the children had on red (preview for Pentecost!)

Raul, a baptism candidate, was the cross bearer

Choir

Cindy was an acolyte

The Baptism candidates explained why they wanted to be baptized

The procession began

Down the road

Along the trail to the river

To the rocky riverside

Everyone wanted a good view!

The service resumed

Into the river...

Rony was very nervous!

In!

...and done!

Emanuel next

Tony...

Kevin...

Norma

Yep, Jonibel!

Raul

Back to the Chapel for the rest of the service

Anointing with oil

Welcome the newest Christians!

First Communion!

Final prayers

Fiesta!

Alleluia! Christ is risen!

The Lord is risen indeed! Alleluia!

Semana Santa (Holy Week)

2011-04-23T19:23:00.000-06:00

I bet my Holy Week has been very different than yours this year! It has been very different for me from Holy Weeks in the past. One difference is, of course, the children. The ratio of adults to children at all services is turned upside down. Another difference is the almost total absence of the "trappings" (and I mean that in the most reverent way. I love all the trappings that go along with church. I am among the few who love incense for example!) To me, the biggest difference is the atmosphere. The whole season of Lent and this week have not been a time of somber reflection, of focus on the pain and suffering of Jesus leading up to and during the crucifixion, or that feeling of emptiness after the Good Friday service - identifying with the apostles' devastation when their Messiah died, not knowing what comes next. Nope. I can't seem to evoke those feelings here. I can't escape the idea that we are living in the midst of the Resurrection every day. The Children's Home is because Jesus rose.

Maundy Thursday service - foot washing (the grownups washed the children's feet) and sharing of the last supper.

Evelyn

Jose Santos

Baptism candidates

Altar stripped for Good Friday

Good Friday - Suzy led us through the Via Cruces (Stations of the Cross). Mirza, Julio and some others had colored the image for each station. Each station was on a different part of the campus with Daniel leading the group with the cross that Jorge had made. A child read the narrative and Suzy asked reflective questions at each station. The weather was appropriately overcast.

Life in the country

2011-04-21T10:55:00.000-06:00

I have been staying at the Children's Home for the past 4 days now. I have tiny twinges of guilt because it feels like vacation in a mountain cabin! I wake up to cool, crisp fresh air, a beautiful view and sounds of a gurgling baby in the next room and children outside.   Actually, I wake up to the rooster who sounds like he lives under my bedroom window!

I moved into the little cottage where Valery used to live. It is a small two bedroom cottage with a bath and kitchenette. There is also one of the tutors (caretakers) staying here to focus on Noelia. We have a small refrigerator, sorta like what your kids took to college, a microwave and a hot plate. No TV (haven't missed it!) no heat or AC (haven't needed either.)

(short break from writing as 9 little boys suddenly showed up and surrounded me for hugs and kisses!)

Meals are delivered to each cottage from the central kitchen although I fix my own breakfast and lunch.   The older kids deliver the food. Everyone helps out here. Even the littlest ones tidy up after themselves and as soon as they are tall enough to wield a mop, they help with the floors.

As you remember, there isn't running water here. All the cottages are plumbed for water. We have two huge water tanks and we truck the water in. Every day at about 6:30 they turn the water on. Every cottage has several tubs to collect the water. This is what we use to bathe, wash dishes, flush toilets, wash clothes, etc.   You definitely don't want to miss water time! Naturally the water is cold. The children take cold showers or bucket baths. In my cottage, we heat up a pot of water and mix it with the cold water for a warm-ish bucket bath. The first night here I escaped the bucket bath because I had taken a shower at Casa LAMB that morning. The first morning I was too cold! (We are up in the mountains which are significantly cooler than the city!) Finally the second night the moment of truth had arrived. It was time for my first bucket bath... Tomasa, the tutor, and Astrid, one of the older girls, were in the cottage. They were in hysterics as I asked them how one takes a bucket bath. With great trepidation, I entered the bathroom and plunged in, as it were. I had to wash my hair also. It actually wasn't too bad. I learned some very important lessons. #1 - don't use alot of soap! #2 - keep the soapy water away from the tub of clean water #3 ignore the odd color of the water.   I have not yet attempted to shave my legs.

Last night, after dinner, I joined the older kids for devotional time. Jose Santos and two of the tutors led the devotions. Many of the children had their Bibles as we studied Matthew 8:18. They also sang several songs and opened and closed with prayer. It was great to see how eager they were to participate. Of course, this is a group of 8 - 15 yr olds so there were the requisite pockets of giggling girls and boys surreptitiously poking each other. Kids are kids everywhere!

It POURED in the middle of the night last night. It sounded like I was living in a drum! The tin roof really adds volume... At first I felt I was under assault!

Each morning, I take my camp chair outside for morning devotions. If I have connectivity, Wheeler and I do morning prayer together via Skype. I am hoping Leamarie will join us too!

Noelia gets cuter by the minute. I bought a playpen yesterday and she loves it! She pulls herself up in it while she goos the toys in it. Her favorite toys are the giant lego-like blocks. Easy to pick up with a mouth sized bump on the top to jam in her mouth!

Wendy has a permanent smile plastered on her face. What a joy to see her transform from a frightened, haunted child to a carefree, happy child running and playing with her new found sisters and friends. The little girls in Toyita's cottage are so cute.   There is a serious tooth deficit as many of them are missing their two front teeth!

I have always known this is a wonderful place for children but to experience the integration of two new children first hand has been such a gift. The tutors and other children are so loving and welcoming. They have embraced them both as members of the family and have made sure they are happy and included in everything. Noelia has no deficit of hugs and kisses. Her tutors are so affectionate and the children love to play with her.

After spending so much time in Flor del Campo and Tegucigalpa, seeing the children run around the property, safe and free is spectacular. (I am running out of adjectives!)

I am looking forward to Easter here.   9 children are getting baptized via full immersion in the river near by. I can't wait!

Off I go to play with the kids!

My cottage Berlyn, Noelia, and Norma out front

Kitchenette and dining area

Living area

Tutor and baby's room

Norma and Yarely listening to Itunes in my bedroom

Our bathroom


Buckets for a bath!

My view during morning devotions

Toyita's cottage right across from mine

Be prepared for anything...Part 2

2011-04-19T10:06:00.000-06:00

If you have been reading my blog or have been here before, you know that predictability is a myth. So yesterday, the leadership team suggested I spend Holy Week at the Children's Home. Fredisman and Jimmy will be doing a lot of maintenance at Casa LAMB during this down time and I can help Wendy and Noelia transition to their new home. My reaction? In the words of Brer Rabbit, "Throw me into that briar patch!" I have been eying Valerie's Cottage since I got here, redecorating in my mind. Right now, I am sitting outside with a cool, gentle breeze, great view and sounds of happy children all around me. Bueno.

Wendy was not as excited as I was, however. The Children's Home is an unknown to her filled with strangers. Yesterday we moved in to the cottage. Arely took her to see where she will be staying, initially in Sala Cuna with her sister but spending her days with the girls her age in Toyita's house. There isn't room right now in Toyita's house for her to sleep there. As we sat on her new bed, Wendy looked at me with big eyes and huge tears forming. Arely and I quickly agreed that she would spend the night with me. Phew. Then she and I went to Suzy's for dinner. Sallie, Lucy, and Elsa were great engaging her in play.

This morning, Wendy got a bucket bath. This is about both Wendy needing a bath and me being a coward. I figured she could go first while I figured out the whole thing. I'm still contemplating my first bucket bath... After the bath our breakfast arrived courtesy of two of the older girls delivering it from the kitchen. We took Wendy and her breakfast to Toyita's cabin so she could eat with the girls. They were so sweet. They welcomed her as their sister and friend, sang a welcome song, and generally showed delight that she was there. I think I will have breakfast every morning there too so I can hear Toyita's morning devotional. Toyita is one of those people whom you know immediately is a truly special person. What a gift to us she is.

It didn't take long after breakfast for Wendy to disappear with the girls playing behind Toyita's! When I think about what her home life was, what her month at INHFA was like, I am so relieved and overjoyed that she and Noelia are here. Thanks be to God for this place and all the people here!


Tomasa gives Noelia a sink bath!

Toyita leading the morning devotional

Wendy (bottom left) with her new sisters and friends!

Metamorphosis

2011-04-17T23:31:00.000-06:00

How things work #3: Be prepared for anything.

Friday afternoon the leadership team came over to Casa LAMB for the second meeting to create a strategic plan. It was about 4 pm and everyone was on break. Next on the agenda was a visioning exercise. Suddenly, Evelyn, David and Arely came up to me. Some of the Children's Home staff and Suzy had gone to INHFA to pick up our two newest children - sisters 8 mo. and 8 years old. INHFA had assured the staff both girls were healthy. They were on the way to San Buenaventura when Noelia, the baby, explosively threw up (side note: all over Suzy.) U-turn to the pediatrician only to discover she has a very contagious form of diarrhea, bronchitis, and a fever.

They couldn't take the baby to the Children's Home and risk spreading the diarrhea throughout Sala Cuna (the toddler cottage) so they asked me if the baby could come to Casa LAMB until she was better. Of course! Well, it was chaos when the staff van pulled up with both girls and the caretaker who accompanied them to the doctor. We still had the whole leadership team there milling around. The caretaker was telling David and Jenny, who was going to stay and help with the baby, what all the doctor's instructions were. David was trying to listen to her, translate for me, and write in English all the instructions for both girls. (Extremely complex. I had to create a spreadsheet to keep track of it all!) Wendy was shell shocked, filthy and worried about her sister. I asked if she could stay here too. It seemed too much to separate the sisters and take Wendy to another busy place filled with strangers.

Wendy - day 1

Jenny and Noelia - Day 1

The girls came with nothing. Wendy had the clothes on her back. Noelia, the one with severe diarrhea, had 3 diapers and one bottle. Clearly an immediate shopping trip was in order. It is about 5:30 now. David, Evelyn, Arely, Wendy and I headed out for Metro Mall. We bought clothes, sandals for Wendy, a stroller (second one I have bought in a month!) bottles, food, and toys. Wendy was like a little zombie. (Arely, Evelyn and I were thoroughly enjoying shopping for little girls clothes!) She didn't make a peep. I took her over to look at the toys. I don't think she understood at first that I wanted her to pick something out. She just looked at them solemnly. I did notice her eyes widen at one package with two Barbie type princesses in it. I handed it to her and said, "This is for you." Well...the rest of the time we were in the store she wouldn't let it go. The shop clerk who was helping us kept offering to put it in the basket. "No thanks," I explained, "we really need to carry it!"

By the time we got back home, it was 7:45. We hadn't eaten yet but Wendy only picked at her supper. I still had to make up the bed for Jenny downstairs and Wendy's bed upstairs in my room. We turned a daybed style bed around to make a crib for Noelia. By 9:30 I was able to take Wendy upstairs for a quick shower. I am not sure she had said a word yet. Not a sound from Noelia. This is when quiet, obedient children is not a good thing. Clearly Wendy was overwhelmed but both of them had learned the hard way not to be the squeaky wheel. As I was drying Wendy off, I noticed burn scars all over her. Noelia's little hand is scarred and she has to wear a tiny pressure glove 12 hrs a day. I asked Wendy what happened and her quick reply was, "I did it. Only me." I left it at that but my heart ached for all the pain and trauma leading up to that rote response. She put her new pajamas on and I put her to bed. We said our prayers and I sang her to sleep.

Noelia -Day 2

Wendy - Day 2

Saturday, she and I woke up about the same time. I motioned to her and she climbed into bed with me and we just snuggled for awhile. Her hair was a mess, no telling how or when it had been cut so off we went to Sala de Belleza de Any's for a real haircut. So precious. I also had to make 2 more trips for medicine. Noelia slept well and her diarrhea was beginning to improve. She is a small 8 month old with 2 bottom teeth. She couldn't sit up without help and would slump over to the side in the highchair. She was very lethargic and stoic. Only an occasional squeak from her. Judith came by and she, Wendy, and I went to see Rio at the movie theater. It is a cute movie and I heard an occasional giggle. Music to my ears. After the movie and dinner, I introduced Wendy to the bathtub. She was very tentative about getting in and then WOW! We actually have a big jacuzzi bathtub in the big bedroom so it is Wendy-sized! She had a blast! Sang her to sleep again. Very sweet.

This morning we were getting ready for church when the doorbell rang. It was Yisa, the young woman from my last post. She was in a panic, desperate. I finally figured out her 2 yr old son, Hector, was having surgery today at 2 because the infection around the colostomy was so bad. She needed 300 lempira ($15) for something and, clearly from her frantic sobs, it was for something crucial for the surgery. Remember, he is in the hospital that doesn't provide nursing care, medications or equipment for their patients. Mari says they don't even provide food for them. We calmed her down, gave her some food and water to take with her and, of course, the money. I am hoping I can visit him tomorrow. Please keep him in your prayers.

Wendy and Noelia - Day 3

So off to church for a great Palm Sunday service. Wendy had a chance to meet the children and see where she and Noelia will be living. The kids were great, very welcoming. Our afternoon and evening have been just like any normal(ish) family. Wendy played with Noelia, I went to the grocery store and to get more medicine. Now the girls are like two completely different children. I brought Wendy a jump rope which she received with a squeal of delight. Noelia got a set of blocks which she immediately started jamming in her mouth. She is sitting up, crawling, and even stood up for about 3 seconds! She will be walking before you know it! She babbles and smiles, Wendy chatters away and is ready with a huge smile made cuter by the missing two front teeth! She is sleeping in the bed next to mine now, such a precious angel. I know it will be hard for me to send the girls to the Children's Home. My heart aches for the children left behind at INHFA.

So this is how it works here. From day to day, you never know what is going to happen. I am so thankful for LAMB and the wonderful staff we have who make such a difference in these children's lives. If only we could take them all.. Pray for the ones we don't have.

A la orden

2011-04-13T17:35:00.001-06:00

In my journey to learn Spanish I accumulated some "favorite" words and phrases. Entonces (then) was my first, sin embargo (however) was another. My new favorite phrase is "a la orden" which means "at your service." I first heard it in Copan at the B&B where Leamarie and I stayed. The lady who served our breakfast would say, as she brought each part, "A la orden!" in a voice that must have come from one of Disney's good fairies. It was so soft, sweet and melodious. Almost like she was crooning it to us. Lovely.

So, today a pretty young mother with an adorable 2 yr. old girl knocked on our gate. She explained that the 2 yr. old's twin brother is in the hospital with a colostomy. I think she said he also has hydrocephaly. Anyway, the colostomy is infected and she asked if she could do any kind of work at the house to pay for the medication he needed. We agreed she would come back on Friday (it will take me that long to think of something for her to do!) and I took her to our favorite Farmacia. She explained to the Pharmacist that she needed to buy tiny colostomy bags and connection tubes for her baby.

How Things Work In Honduras #1:

The baby is in the public Hospital Escuela - a teaching hospital. The hospital does not have the medication or equipment that patients need! The, by definition, poor families of the patients must scrape together the money, including transportation, to purchase the needed meds or equipment. If they are unsuccessful, the patient is out of luck.

So the doctors in the hospital had told the young mother that she needed to buy the replacement colostomy bags. We learn at the Farmacia that they don't stock tiny colostomy bags but the Pharmacist told us where we could find them. He speaks some English and I speak no colostomy related Spanish! Anyway, I asked him how to get to the place he recommended. Remember, there are almost no street signs or street names in Honduras. He paused and said, "Wait a moment."

How Things Work In Honduras #2:

About 2 minutes later, the Pharmacist's wife bustles out of the Farmacia and jumps in the car! She is going to go with us to find the colostomy bags! She gives me excellent directions and about 20 minutes later we are in a medical complex. She runs into the first medical supply house to ask about the bags. No luck. She runs across the street to another one. After quite a long time she comes out. They don't have them but she has made numerous phone calls and has arranged for the bags to be delivered to their Farmacia tomorrow. We head back to the Farmacia. Meanwhile she has called her daughter who speaks great English so she can translate all the information via phone, to ensure I understood everything. Without her help, and her husband is just as helpful, we would not have been able to figure out how and where to find the colostomy bags. So, as she jumped out of the car I thanked her. She smiled and replied, "A la orden!"

Eben-Ezer

2011-04-10T23:33:00.001-06:00

There are alot of places around here called Eben-Ezer -- churches, stores, signs on buses even. Leamarie and I could not figure out why that name was so frequently used. The only Ebenezer we could think of was Mr. Scrooge. Somehow we didn't think Dickens was the inspiration for so many in Honduras. Finally, it occurred to us to look it up in the Bible!

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the LORD has helped us.” 1 Samuel 7:12

In Spanish the translation is "The Lord has not stopped helping us." They also refer to it as meaning, "The Lord provides." And so He does. Case in point...

Thursday late afternoon, Mari told me the Lenca people in the La Paz Department were experiencing a famine due to an El Niño induced drought. Maria and 2 yr. old Evelyn live with Suzy and are pure Lenca. (I have a deep love for Lenca pottery and am fascinated by the indigenous people of Honduras.) Their family was among those starving - 2 sisters, 2 little girls and a 7 month old baby. Mari, Leamarie, and I immediately decided we had to take food to Maria's family on Saturday. On Friday, Leamarie and I bought well over 300 pounds of food - rice, beans, maseca corn flour, shortening, baby formula powder and cereal, spaghetti, tomato sauce, and tuna.

First thing Saturday morning, Mari, Maria, Evelyn, Leamarie and I jumped in the "chuckwagon" and headed off towards Marcala. We traveled on a "carreteria" or highway (when the construction is done next millennium, it will be a great road) to the turn off to La Paz. This was an "orange road" on the map. Paved with a patchwork of big potholes randomly appearing. From La Paz we drove to Marcala on another orange road. Marcala is a small town in the heart of Lenca country. The first thing that happened when we got there was, as we walked into the first decent restaurant we saw, little Evelyn threw up! One of God's little mercies that she waited until she was out of the car! The entire restaurant had been reserved for a wedding so we just started walking down the street until we found another one.

This is when the trip got a bit interesting and it dawned on Leamarie and me that we could have thought the food distribution method a bit better...

Maria is a very sweet young woman of very few words. She is also very shy and timid. As we sat in the restaurant, I asked where we were going to take the food. You see,Friday night she had told us that she lived in Marcala . I had googled it and discovered the route was very reasonable and would take about 3 hours to get there. Sure enough, it did! So, we are sitting in this little restaurant, sweltering. We were having some communications glitches and it was beginning to look like you literally couldn't get there from here. Suzy had cautioned us to be careful about driving along dirt roads that could become impassable. There was confusion about whether a car could get to Maria's house or not. (To her doorstep - Not.) It was also unclear how far the walk from the road to her house was - a 10 minute walk was her estimate. Some quick mental math made it clear that 4 women and a baby could not carry 300+ pounds of food that far. She also explained that her sisters couldn't come into town because they don't have transportation and they have 3 small children to care for. We were really in a quandary. Although we could have taken the food back to very deserving people in Teguc, we were committed to helping Maria's family.

The IBMer in me came to life and I jumped up to find someone who could help us somehow. I still had no idea where we were going or how far away it was. I walked outside and looked around to get my bearings. There was a hardware-ish store across the street and a gun store (scary hand guns, not hunting guns) next to the restaurant. My first thought was to try the hardware store but then, on a whim, I asked the armed guard standing outside the gun store. The normally locked door (they buzz you in) was open so the woman behind the counter heard my stumbly Spanish as I tried to explain my problem. With a very sweet smile she approached me with another man who was in the store. She told me they both were volunteers for Cruz Rojo (Red Cross) and they could help! Never in my wildest imagination would I think to go to a gun store for help delivering food! Off the man went on his motorcycle and about 10 minutes later, up drove a young man, Israel, in a Red Cross pick-up truck! (1 Samuel 4:1 -- And Samuel’s word came to all Israel...The Israelites camped at Ebenezer...)

"We're here!"

We moved the food into the back of the truck and all piled in for the next leg of our journey. The roads we took were dirt roads, some pretty steep up a mountain and then down again. All were narrow and often rutted and very bumpy. I can't imagine what the roads are like in the rainy season. It took us 1.5 hours to get to the place Maria announced was "here!" "Where?" Leamarie and I squawked in surprise! We just stopped on the side of a mountain road with forests on both sides. There was a tiny little break in the brush. Maria slipped through it and down what looked like a complete vertical drop and disappeared into the woods. A couple of minutes later, 2 little girls, a woman carrying a baby and Maria reappeared. Their house was down in a ravine, not visible from the road! Gulp. But, Israel is the type of person who is ever cheerful and is unfazed by such a small obstacle.

Me and the food in the clearing


Leamarie, Evelyn and Eduard with Israel taking another load down

About 6 ft. below the level of the road was a small, narrow clearing. We piled the food there as a staging point to get it down to the house. Israel leaned over and put a 25lb bag of flour on his upper back/neck. Then he had me put THREE MORE on! He practically trotted down this nearly vertical non-path with 100 lbs on his back! All the while smiling! Maria did her share running up and down the path like a graceful antelope (I know I should say mountain goat but she is too pretty and petite for that.) Leamarie, Mari and I each picked our way down with a small item - needing one empty hand to hold on to bushes and limbs. Mari was particularly valiant since she is terribly afraid of heights. The sister, Lucia, was helping as well and Leamarie and I took turns holding the baby up in the clearing. This 7 month old baby, Eduard, looked like he was 3 months old and may have weighed 12 lbs.

Mari reported that the kitchen (a corner in the 2 room house) in the house had not a single morsel of food.

The house

The "kitchen"

They have no running water - they get all their water from a tiny stream behind the house.

Water source

Meanwhile, as the food was being hauled down to the house, I was up in the clearing with the baby. A tiny, barefooted elderly lady appeared with her two young grandchildren. She had been walking on the road as we drove by. She asked if we were helping just that family or other people too. We learned from Maria's sister that she is even poorer than they are. We had held back 1 bag of each type of food to give to the Red Cross to distribute but agreed on the spot to give it to her. Israel, cheerfully loaded her and her grandchildren in the truck, and zoomed off to deliver it to her house in the same ravine but across the stream from Lucia's house. Think about this: As she is walking along a truck filled with food stops just up the road from her house, appearing out of nowhere when she had absolutely nothing to eat. It must have seemed like a miracle to her. In fact, it was. What a joy to be an instrument in one of God's miracles.

After delivering all the food, we piled back in the truck for the long ride home. It was mostly downhill so it only took an hour. We were very hot, sweaty, tired and so happy to know that God is still keeping His promise to Israel to watch over His children.

Arely, 3 yrs old

Maria and her family

Naomi, age 5

Leamarie picking her way up the path

Heartbreak

2011-04-08T22:08:00.000-06:00

Have you ever had a broken heart? Of course, who hasn't? Heartbreak is something we dread, avoid, recover from. No one in their right mind would actively seek a broken heart. On my first trip to Honduras, Suzy sang a song that included the lyric, "If you give your heart to God, He will surely break it...The God of heartbreaking love..." Whuuut??? Surely she had those lyrics wrong. Please have those lyrics wrong.   I was totally baffled until my first visit to La Cantera, the most impoverished squatter's settlement near Flor del Campo. As we walked down the dirt road, past the hovels I burst into tears. "How can God's children (all of us) let God's children live like that?" I asked. Suzy smiled a gentle smile and said, "So, God broke your heart today." And He continues to break my heart and the hearts of many others who come to Honduras.

Yesterday, we said good bye to a small team who came to work with the girls at the safe house, La Vida Nueva. They are leaders of our sister ministry, She Dances, whose mission is to rescue trafficked girls. Jeremy is the founder, Julie chairs the Board of Directors, and Daly is a board member. I went with them to visit INHFA, Honduras' Social Services.   We visited their location called Casita Kennedy. This is where they house children who have been removed from their homes. Many of our kids at SBV came from INHFA. I had heard it was awful but went with an open and curious mind. My first impression was that it didn't look so bad. We walked into a large courtyard surrounded by cottages, not too different than the cottages at SBV. There was a huge shade tree and a very large playground. All was concrete or pavers but not so bad. We spent quite a bit of time talking with one of the directors about girls who might be candidates for the safe house. I had a strong sense that this man was doing his very best and truly cared for the welfare of the children. He asked me how many babies I was going to take home with me!

Next was the tour. And it was all downhill from there. First stop was the young boys (9-11) cottage. It was nasty. It looked like a tiny version of a frat house from Animal House. The walls were filthy and disgusting, what furniture they had was in shreds. The one window was boarded up. The only other "windows" (and I use that term loosely) were small slits way up close to the ceiling with bars. Very prison like. Next stop was the school. The classrooms were reasonably large but few children were there. We went into the 4th grade room. 6 children were in desks against the wall while a radio blared at them. Their teacher was a lecture broadcast over the radio.

We visited the "Library" cottage. I did not see a single book but, instead, piles of old newspapers. There were 2 women and a teenage girl knitting - presumably knitting scarves in this tropical country will provide them a living someday. Hmmmm. There were two rooms with toys that were broken and scattered all over the floor. No children playing with them.

We visited the toddler cottage. I saw a 2 yr old boy standing in what I suppose was a porta-crib. All wood, very small. If it had had a top it would have been a cage. No toys, nothing. I asked if I could pick him up. He immediately nestled his head on my shoulder and remained that way as I gently swayed back and forth for the entire time we were there. Imagine how hard it was to put him down.

Our last stop was the babies and special needs cottage. I think this is where my heart broke the most. We met a little boy, 2 years old, who has been there his entire life. His parents are Mexican and were deported when he was born. They were so poor they left him in the hospital, I guess in hopes that he would have a better life than going with them to Mexico. Not so much. He will grow up there (unless my plea to take him to SBV is successful) in a place with no love or affection. I can hardly write these words it is still so fresh in my mind.

As we were leaving, David Suazo, Director of the Safe House, told us that on two very recent occasions armed men forced their way into the compound and kidnapped a total of 5 teenage girls to sell them into sex slavery. Later Suzy told me that several of our own girls were sexually abused by STAFF MEMBERS. Mari said that sometimes caretakers will sell a baby.   The horrors just kept getting worse.

The rest of the afternoon, waves of horror kept sweeping over me as the truth sunk in. Julie and Mari had the same experience. All of us were emotionally exhausted.

God breaks our hearts for a reason, to see His children as He does. To feel the pain He feels when they suffer. To fall on our knees praying for these precious children and begging God for guidance - what can I do?

I believe it is important, crucial, to experience these heartbreaks. But no one wants to...except Jeremy. At 20 years old (a mere 4 years ago) Jeremy was praying for God to break his heart over something.   God chose trafficked girls and She Dances was born.   This 24 year old has founded a 501c3 organization, has a board of directors, opened their first safe house (his dream is to have them all over the world) and has mobilized countless young supporters. This is a youth-driven movement.

Daly, 23; Julie, 26; Jeremy, 24

God breaks our hearts and then brings together wondrous people to act in His name to love, heal, and bring hope to His beloved children. And for that I say AMEN.

Where is Jesus?

2011-04-05T12:52:00.000-06:00

This is the LAMB logo. In Honduras, LAMB is called Asociación Para El Servicio Mundial and uses the same logo. It is a shepherd holding a lamb, perhaps that one lost lamb that he left the herd to find. So, where is Jesus in the logo? Is he the Good Shepherd? Of course! Jesus said, “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep..." (John 10:14,15) In this logo, it is clear that the Good Shepherd knows and loves the lamb.

But wait! I thought Jesus is the Lamb of God! John the Baptist recognized him right away: The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!" (John 1:29) The lamb in the logo looks so vulnerable and yet so safe in the arms of the shepherd.

So which is it? The Good Shepherd or the Lamb of God? He can't possibly be both, right? It has to be one or the other. Or does it? About 15 years ago, give or take, a young priest at St.David's preached a memorable sermon. Fr. Kevin Kelly explained how, in fact, Jesus is both. Here is the story:

A visitor was driving in the Irish countryside and came upon a shepherd and his herd of sheep. The visitor asked the shepherd what he thought it meant for Jesus to be both the Good Shepherd and the Lamb of God. The shepherd thought for a moment and then said this:

In the early spring, during lambing season, two things invariably happen - some of the ewes die giving birth, leaving their lambs orphaned, and some other lambs are stillborn. A mother ewe will only care for her own sheep, so the orphaned lambs will die. To prevent this, the shepherd will take the body of one of the stillborn lambs, cut it open, and pour its blood over one of the orphans. He then presents that lamb to the stillborn's mother. When she smells the blood of her own child in the new lamb, she takes it for her own, and cares for it as her own.

So, there you have it. Jesus both sacrifices His blood for the orphaned lamb, otherwise doomed to death, and He is the Good Shepherd who cares for the all the sheep, not willing to lose a single one.

Maria Mercedes with her caretaker,

Tonya, who so loves this little lamb.

I think about the Asociación Para El Servicio Mundial staff here. They also are not willing to lose a single lamb. They sacrifice daily in ways we really don't understand. Why? Because they know their Good Shepherd and they deeply love the Lamb of God.

‘Never again will they hunger;
   never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat down on them,’
   nor any scorching heat.
For the Lamb at the center of the throne
   will be their shepherd;
‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’
   ‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’
(Revelation 7:16,17)